Happy New Year

I am not normally one to make resolutions for the New Year. However, this year I think I will give it a shot. I hereby resolve to stop letting people walk all over me in life. So, if you happen to be one of them be forewarned! lol

Let me hear what your resolution is. In 3 months we can all look back and see how well we did.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

If this doesn't warm your heart nothing will.

This was one of those "flashmob" events. At a set time all of the participants began to sing at the Orlando Airport. They watched for a signal given by a conductor on balcony above. Look at the faces of the other people around them. Not one person is annoyed or bothered by it. Perhaps there is hope for Christians after all.

Just something to make you stop and think....

It's getting a wee bit c-c-cold.

Things are calming down a bit since the media has backed off on beating me up. It was getting rather overwhelming for awhile. Of course that leaves me time now to worry about other issues. Like the fact that our 42 year old oil burner decided to drop dead. Ok maybe not dead but more like it has a problem with incontinence. It leaks water so bad that there if I try to get heat out of it, the basement gets flooded and there is still no hot water circulating in the baseboards. Since I own a duplex, the house has 2 burners. The first one went last winter and I was able to get that one replaced. We had the installer give us a decent price since we knew they both had to be done. Unfortunately, finances limited us to just the one at the time. I knew that come December I would be able to arrange for the cash to do the one for my side of the house. Of course my burner decided to quit before that money came.

We have been using electric space heaters in the meantime. They help a bit, but it still gets a bit cold when the temps are below freezing outside. I am dreading my electric bill next month! The only good thing is I am still able to turn on the burner when I need hot water for showers. My co-workers are happy about that too I am sure!

I am not a Scrooge....

My job year round is life safety. I get paid to protect the public. I do my job year round. There is no holiday for safety concerns. Christmas time is no exception. Recently I received a complaint from a concerned citizen about the potential for someone to either be electrocuted or run over by a car. I did my job and responded to the complaint. I found that the complainant has valid concerns. Illegal electrical wiring has been run both underground and above ground. Some of it attached to a metal chain-link fence. Other wiring buried under the municipal right-of-way and attached to a public utility pole. In addition, materials have been placed in that right-of-way which forces pedestrians to have to step out into traffic to pass by. The owner of the house has several times in the past been warned and asked to correct the issue. They apparently chose not to listen. The only option left is to issue summonses for the violations. No big deal right? In fact at any other time of year I would be thanked for doing my job.

Apparently, the minute you plug any type of Christmas decoration into the electrical wiring, it no longer becomes a problem. That is the situation here. The material blocking pedestrians is an over abundance of Christmas decorations. The entire front lawn and house is covered. It actually looks quite pretty. However, the basic facts remain that there is a safety issue here. The permanent electrical wiring was installed illegally. There is no electrical inspection certificate of compliance. Not to mention, it was installed on municipal property without the permission of the municipality. In addition the homeowner took it upon themselves to also extend the decorations in front of the neighbor's home. Suddenly I am public enemy number one. I have news vans all over the place. All of them reporting on how the government has something against holiday decorations. There are pages of nasty uninformed comments on Facebook bashing me. The phones are ringing like crazy because someone posted the number online so people can call and tell us what they think. They are talking about going to the Mayors house in mass and one person is trying to rally the masses to protest at my home.

Luckily the people I answer to where I work understand the situation. I reached out to them before I wrote the summonses. I knew this would be a subject that had the potential to explode. And that it did

I have nothing against Christmas or the decorations that come with it. In fact I decorate my own home. Not to this extent but, I do put up lights. I am always the first in the office to put up decorations in the office and play the holiday music. Despite what you may see on the news,and this story will probably go national so you will probably see it on your news, I am not a grinch. Merry Christmas!

This scene always makes me cry

I am sure at least a few of you remember the show Ally McBeal. I used to love the show. There was just something about the characters that kept me interested. Back in 2001 there was a Christmas episode that had me crying my eyes out. And to this day I can not help the tears whenever I watch it.

This was 2 months after 9-11. The show typically tried to keep up with real life current events. They wanted a way to reach out to the audience and deal with 9-11 and the sadness, but did not want to be so direct in their approach. I can only assume they felt it was just too soon. So, what they did was write a story about a small town outside of Boston where a tragic fire killed a number of firemen. The town council cancelled the holiday parade becuase they felt celebrations would not be appropriate so soon after a tragedy. A local man felt otherwise and took the town to court. He won. The town held it's parade, but in a way that remeberence was the main theme.

On a second story thread in that episode, Josh Groban played a teen who had just lost his mother. He would always sing for her. When she died he stopped singing. No one could convince him otherwise. Eventually he agrees and appears in church on the same night of the parade.

Before you watch this clip, take a moment and think back to 2001 and what you felt in your heart that year. Once you are there, click play on the video below. If the little boy carrying his daddy's fire helmet does not make you cry, I don't know what ever will........

How NOT to be a good parent....

days like this are never easy

There are some days where being a dad is just so hard. My oldest son Kevin had a car accident today. He pulled out on a corner and a woman plowed into the passenger side of his car. Luckily no one was injured. I can not say the say the same for his car. It is T-boned on that side. There is no way he can continue to use the car.

I am sitting here thanking God that my son is fine. At the same time just the stress of now having to deal with insurance companies and having to go back to driving him around is bringing me down a bit. Even those are minor compared to the feeling of sadness I have for Kevin. He is upset that he no longer has a car. He feel awful that he had the accident to begin with. I can not help but feel sad right along with him. Not to mention that the mind now starts to go thinking about "what if". I just want to cry right now.

I know that life will go on. And one day this will just be a memory. I am telling myself everything I would be telling anyone else. Yet I just can not help it. Sigh........

Catching up

It has been a really busy couple months in my life. With the kids back in school and all of those activities that come along with it, and add in a wife that works and is a full time college student, you can imagine that I have very little "me" time.  When I do seem to have a few minutes to sit by the computer, I have a habit of dozing off.

I did get a bit of a reprieve 2 weeks ago when I headed to Charlotte, NC for an annual business meeting. Some of you probably saw my drunk blog from there. Even though it is a work conference, there is plenty of fun time built in.

We arrived in Charlotte on Saturday morning. The Hilton hotel where we stayed was gorgeous. After walking around a little bit it became evident that Charlotte is not what I am accustomed to in a city. It is made up primarily of hotels, office buildings and parking garages. There were some places to eat. What it lacked was any type of retail stores.

Sunday was the first official day of the conference. It kicked off with a golf outing. What a beautiful day that turned out to be. The weather was spectacular. I was actually in shorts and a short sleeve shirt. The course was amazing and we played really well. I am not an avid golfer but I love the game. I always worry a little bit when I play in these events because my skills could use some fine tuning. Luckily I played awesome that day. You could never guess I don't play all that often. Sunday night we headed to a local bar where it was a "meet the candidates" meet and greet. I had a few drinks and ate some great food. I stayed fairly sober. lol

Monday was the opening meeting which was fine, but not the reason I was looking so forward to that day. It also happened to be the night of the welcome event. This year the event was in the NASCAR Hall of Fame. I was in my glory! I got free admission into the Hall and got to do all the interactive stuff there. Add in the open bar and buffet that we had in the lobby area and it was a perfect evening. In all my years of attending these conferences, this was by far my favorite welcoming event. My son thought I was going to be total redneck when I got home. lol

Tuesday was the annual business meeting and elections. The morning was filled with speeches and campaigns. It may look boring on C-Span but, being there you can not help but get caught up in the whole process. We had a nice lunch and then I had the afternoon free. That night was delegate photos and the exhibitors reception. Again with a bar and buffet. this is where the trouble started. Every year, the New York delegates ( I am one of them) hosts a hospitality suite. We do it in conjuction with a few other states. This year it included NC, ND, RI, UT, KY and I think NJ. We had an open bar and some snack foods. I admit to getting totally smashed this year. Thankfully my room was only 8 floors up. I will not get into details here. Let's just say I ended up making the swear "Dear God. Let me live through this and I will never drink again!" I lived. So far I have been pretty much sticking to the promise. I will probably keep that promise......till next years conference in Phoenix AZ!

Overall, I had an awesome time in Charlotte. I brought home a lot of great memories and a bunch of pictures.

 

This was Saturday. You know where I was on Monday!

 

I managed to change the tire in just over 20 seconds. 

Guess I should not get a job with a pit crew!

 

At the trade expo on Monday

 

I had such an awesome time here!

 

That's my favorite!

They have actual cars sitting up on the track that wraps around the ramp to the second floor.

the track display. All full size cars.

 

This was the simulator area. You sit in the car and drive a simulator.

I managed a 1:00.564 lap time at Talladega!

This was actually after more than half the people left.  

And before you ask, the lady in the lower right was dancing to the DJ. lol

The tooth fairy ain't made of gold kiddo!

I got home from my business trip on Thursday evening. Katie was already at dance class. I headed over to the dance studio. When I got there, the first class had just ended. Katie saw me coming and ran and gave me the biggest hugs! She really made my day. She kept telling everyone how it was her "lucky day" since she had lost a tooth and her daddy came back home.

Later that night when Katie went to bed, she placed her tooth under her pillow. I keep the golden dollar coins handy for these special nights. Just before I headed to bed myself, I tip-toed into her room to check on the tooth fairy. I reached under her pillow to look for the tooth. What I found was the tooth and the following note:

It is the memories like this one that make my life worth living and make me always look forward to getting home from my trips!

drunk off my ass

I decided it might be fun to see what my posts look liek when I am frunk....drunbk. I am exremly xdrubnk at the moment. It has been an awesomeluy fun night for me. ANds  yeas I anm feeliung very good at the moment/
The room is spinning. I thought it might be funb to try and type and then qwhen I sober up in to morning, I will lookk at see just how stupid I look to the rest of you.

I plan to write about my week here in NC...just not tonight. I just got bnack to my room after polishing off 2 bottles of 43. The room is spinning  and I know Iwill be sleeping with one foot on the floor. I had planned to stay spober. I guess that plan was not working. SO laugh at me all yu want. I am too drunk to care. lol

Breast Cancer Awareness

If you don't already know, you should. October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. My wife is a survivor of this horrible disease. I know a number of others who have also suffered the scare. A local tattoo parlor is doing their part to help spread the word by offering free pink ribbon tattoos. My wife decided she wanted to get one. Her mom got one yesterday. Her aunt and 2 cousins got them earlier this week. I think it is a good cause. In fact to help show my support I got a tattoo as well.

I have thought about getting a tattoo many times over the years. This is not what I had in mind originally but, what better design to start off with? Now that I know what it feels like, I will go back soon and get something artistic done. As for the rest of you, please please make sure to check your breasts regularly! And get those mammograms done. SAVE THE TA-TAS!

3rd time is the charm

This morning my son made his 3rd attempt at his road test. I don't know who was more nervous. Him or me. The first time he took the test he cut off a car as he was about to pull away from the curb. End of test before he even started. He had to wait a month to take it again. The second time he was shaking before he even got behind the wheel. Add in the fact that it was windy and raining due to a hurricane off the shore, he failed for being too cautious.

I had no idea what to expect today. We are getting very heavy rains and it is windy. All thanks to a coastal storm and the remnants of Tropical Storm Nicole. After dropping off my daughter, Kevin and I headed to the site of the test. We got there a little early. There were only a couple cars ahead of us. The rain would start and stop. Kevin's leg was bouncing and he was talking fast. There were two women testers today. The one that failed him last time and another one that he recognized as someone that came and talked at his Driver's Ed course. The order they were going in meant he was going to get the one he had last time. I saw him stress even more. However, the car ahead of us was a woman being tested. After her test her son got in the car for his test. This meant Kevin's tester would be the woman that came to his class. He got happy at that point. He told me he was comfortable since it was like he "already knew her."  He got behind the wheel, I stepped out with my big umbrella and I turned my back and prayed. Within a few minutes he pulled back up. He stepped out of the car and said, "I failed" Of course he was just way to excited to be able to not smile. He passed! He didn't get a single point off. He aced it.

So despite the weather, today is an awesome day! We got home from the test, I told him that his grandmother would want to know how he did. He reached for his phone so I told him, "Here, use this instead." and I tossed him my keys. So, off he went to drive for the very first time by himself. I am sure you can imagine his big smile. And here I sit smiling right along with him!

NASCAR Heaven

I am a NASCAR fan. My kids pick on me for it, but I don't care. I love sitting and watching the races. It is even better when Jimmie Johnson wins the race. Seeing that Lowe's 48 car cross that finish line in front just makes my day. Last year, NASCAR opened a Hall of Fame in Charlotte NC. I knew this would be a place I just have to see one day. That day is happening October 25th! Woohoo!

Every year I travel to wherever the ICC Annual Conference is being held. This year it just happens to be in Charlotte, NC. As soon as I found out, I said I was going to hit the Hall of Fame. Well, it gets even better. Each year the ICC holds a big opening event. They find a major venue and book it exclusively for the ICC attendees. We have access to the entire place. There is a buffet and an open bar. When I was in Detroit it was held at the Henry Ford Museum. In Florida it was in Epcot. In Baltimore it was in Camden Yard and Oriole's Stadium. This year it will be in, yes you guessed it, the NASCAR Hall of Fame. So, not only do I get to see the museum, but it will be free, there will be food and drinks, and I will be in my glory! I am so excited that I feel like a kid just before Christmas.

One of the things that we do at our conference is trade collector pins. Chapters from all over the world bring pins and all week long I find people that are looking to trade pins. I have a decent sized collection. My Association is no different. We have had 3 designs over the past 10 years. All rather plain and all designed by the company making the pins. Since we have been using the same pin each year, it was getting harder to find people that didn't already have one. This year I decided I was going to take over the design. I wanted something unique. Something that combined the Chapter and this years International Conference. This is the design I came up with:

Knowing what people look for in a pin when trading, I have no doubt these will be hot this year. I didn't tell anyone I was going to design it until after I had the design complete. When it was done I presented my design to the Chapter President and VP. In typical fashion the President tried to tweek it into something he could then claim as his own. (He is notorious for this). I stuck to my guns and in the end we went with my design. 

I can not wait to get to Charlotte!

We are all young once

As a kid you never think about your parents being kids at some point in their life. And grandparents? They were born old...right? I was recently given the following photographs of my grandmother. In each picture she is the little girl in the shot. The pictures are from the sometime around 1920. In the first picture my grandmother is sitting in the window by the dog. The woman holding the baby is my great-grandmother. The baby is some great-uncle. I think my mom said his name was Rex.

I finally found what I was looking for

When I was younger, around 10 or 11, I lost my best friend. He ran out into the street and was hit by a truck and killed. He was a year younger than me. Hardest thing I ever went through. As a result, I built a shell around myself and had a hard time allowing people to get close to me. I still do. It comes from a fear that I will lose them one day too. When Bobby died, it was felt that I should be sheltered from the whole thing. I didn't get to go to the funeral and his death was never mentioned around me or to me. As a result, I was never able to get closure. I never got to say good bye. I am 47 now and it still affects me.

For years now I have wanted to visit Bobby's grave. To let go of the pain. To heal. To say good bye.... The problem was that I had no idea where he was buried. My parents could not remember. Since Bobby's family had moved to NJ before he died, and I had no idea where they were. Bobby's dad had passed and his mom had remarried. His sisters were grown and married. So, it was not like I could find anyone. When someone we all knew passed away several years ago, my mom mentioned having the phone number to contact Bobby's mom. (Gee thanks for not telling me this all these years.) I made the call to let her know about the passing. Unfortunately, I got an answering machine. I was already nervous about calling but, toss in the fact that I hate talking on the phone, my message was one of the dumbest sounding things ever. I tried to be composed but, I failed. I mentioned the death and at the end of the message I left my phone number and asked her to call me and told her why. I never heard from her. Feeling like a fool, I was afraid to call back.

Well, thanks to Facebook, I happened across Bobby's sister last week. I sent a friend request and a quick note. We exchanged a few messages back and forth. Catching up on all that has happened in the 30+ years since we last spoke to each other. I didn't know how to bring up the subject of where her brother is laid to rest. I finally decided to just lay it all out there. It took a couple days to hear back. I was beginning to think I had said the wrong thing. Last night I finally heard back from her. She not only gave me the information, but she has offered to meet me there. I am undecided on whether or not to take her up on that offer. I will be going to the cemetery but, I am just not sure if I will meet her there or not. My wife had said she would go with me, but I told her it was something I just need to do alone. For once she actually understands.

In the next month or so I will be making that trip to NJ. I will find my friend. And hopefully I will find that peace that has eluded me all these years.........tm

9/11 God Bless the USA

I need a shower now.

Part of my job involves investigative work. This means at times I get to interview people to ferret out information. It usually means I have to steer them into admitting things that they would rather you didn't discover. Today was one of those days.

Sadly, as bad as the economy is, men still seem to pay for sex. As a result, prostitution remains popular. The popular way of going about this is to open "massage" parlors. They are usually opened in office buildings and the advertising is done online. I have raided a few in the past. Today we received a complaint of a new one in the neighborhood. time to go to work.

Because of the nature of the investigation, we work in pairs. Going to a place like this alone is never a smart idea. It is too easy to be accused of inappropriate things. My partner and I work well together. He is an older guy and has that easy going nature. And since you are familiar with the "Good cop, Bad cop" routine, you can figure out which one I am. I just have this way of getting information from people. I let them know that I want answers and that I am serious. Don't waste my time with beating around the bush. I am also not afraid to tell anyone what the consequences will be if I have to find out later that they lied. I have to admit, I enjoy this part of my job.

Today we went into this place for preliminary information. We got a complaint that there is a car load of oriental girls being dropped off there at night and that a lot of men come and go all night long. It is rather obvious that this is not a normal business operation. We knocked on the door and were greeted by a fairly attractive asian woman in her early 50s. As soon as I showed her my badge her smile faded. Despite that, she invited us inside. Ok so maybe not offered up front but simply complied with my asking her if we could come inside. In the room we walked into there was a nice divider and behind it sat two younger asian women on a mattress. A closed circuit TV was set up so they could see who was approaching the front door. There were two back rooms with massage tables set up. I can not get into any details about the information we collected since it is an active investigation. However, during the investigation as I was reading the one woman's ID out so my partner could read it, she placed her head on my shoulder and nuzzled up against me. What the hell was going through her mind? That has got to be one of the dumbest things anyone has ever done during an investigation of mine. I just shrugged her head off of me and gave her a look that backed her up. I left there feeling like I need a shower......eeewwwww.

Smoke yourself to death. Just leave me out of it!

I don't smoke. Never really have. I am the only one in my family that never has. Same goes for my wife and her family. That being said, it is obvious that we just don't care for it. The smell of it makes me ill. I get a headache and it irritates my throat.

It is lunchtime right now and I am sitting down by the docks as I normally do. There is a breeze off the water and it is a beautiful sunny day. Fresh air! Or at least it was. A car pulled up next to me and the driver got out and decided to light up. My lovely salty breeze was now nothing but that putrid smell of second hand smoke.

Don't get me wrong. You have the right to give yourself cancer. I won't stop you. However, where is my right to not have to get it with you? Where is the consideration of stepping to a place where your nasty habit won't infringe on the rights of others? I don't get all preachy to smokers about not smoking. All I ask in return is that you do not drag the rest of us to an early grave with you.

On a related note, the earth is not your @#$%! ashtray! Stop flicking your butts all over it! That thing in your car is an ashtray. Not a change holder moron. Grrrrrr!

One of the worst jobs as a parent

No parent likes seeing their kids hurt or sad or distressed in any way. Sadly though, those days come along some times. Today is one of those days.

My son Tyler has one of the biggest hearts I know. Especially when it comes to animals. Today I was forced to tell him that his dog passed away. Cookie, our pug, was only 3 years old. He was Tyler's dog. We got Cookie after a lot of begging and pleading from every angle around me. I reluctantly agreed. Once we had him though, Cookie became a dog I absolutely loved. He was fun, He could be goofy at times and you could not help but laugh.

Being a pug, breathing was an issue constantly. Pugs have pushed in faces. The heat seemed to make it worse. I honestly think that perhaps Cookie had a medical condition that caused him to succumb to the heat. He passed away this afternoon when my wife was out. My wife is feeling extremely guilty, Though it was not really her fault. It is just one of thos freak things that happens.

So today I had I had to be the grown up and bury one of my son's best friends. All the while, trying not to fall apart myself. I can honestly say that this is one time that parenting sucks. I was going to include a picture of cookie but, I just cant bring myself to open one right now..........

It's that time of year again

It has been 25 years since the last major hurricane on Long Island. We have had several near misses over the years since Hurricane Gloria hit. We are well over due. Normally an impending storm gives me a major adrenaline rush. It is too early to tell if that will happen the next time. However, there is a storm out in the Atlantic right now that has my stomach in knots. I do not have a good feeling about this one and it is literally scaring me.

So, remember this name: Earl

Always have a Plan B

Every summer we take the kids to PA for a couple days. The first day we spend in an amusement park called Knoebels. The second day we spend in a water park called Camel Beach. Knoebels is in Elysburg, PA. It is approx. 4½ hours from my house. We normally drive there early in the morning. After spending a day in the park we spend a night in Mifflinville and then back toward eastern PA to camel Beach in Tannersville. It is a trip we look forward to. This year, because of financial issues, we were faced with not being able to go at all. I did some budget crunching and was able to arrange it so we could do one of the 2 parks only. this past Monday was the day of the trip

The plan was we would do the water park since it was the closer of the two. Since it is only about 3 hours away, I planned on going and coming home the same day. It has been a very hot and dry summer here on the island. In fact we have had no real rain in about 2 months. So the water park seemed to make sense. As this last weekend approached, the weather men began talking about rain. Not just a little bit either. With school approaching and other commitments we had not alternatives on dates. I was off on Monday and Tuesday. I figured if we woke up Monday and the weather was lousy we could just do Tuesday instead. Sunday the rain moved in. By Sunday night it was pouring. We woke up Monday to it still raining. And Tuesday;s forecast not looking any better. Now what do we do? While the water park doesnt close simply for rain, there was thunderstorms predicted. On top of that, instead of the temps in the upper 80s we had been having, it was in the low 60's. Now what do we do?

On to Plan B. Looking at the weather map it seemed to be less rain in Elysburg. I figured it was further west so we may luck out. So we hopped in the car and headed to Knoebels. I am glad we did. We had an awesome time. It did rain lightly later in the day but we were prepared for it so it was not an issue. My daughter was a little bummed about not making the water park but she understood. The kids got to ride the rides all day. We did our round of laser tag as well. I was wiped out. Luckily I called the motel and was able to get a room. And since the owner knows we come every year, she gave us a nice discount. I am glad we stayed and just drove home Tuesday instead.

So even though we had to go to our back up plan, it all worked out just fine. We all had fun and that was the whole point all along!

We take a picture of the kids in this same spot every year. The first time we did, Kevin (far right) was in a stroller!

Katie and her cousin.

We always stop here for breakfast on the way to PA. This trip we also stopped on the way home.

Katie and I waiting to ride the roller coaster.

Modern Day Loitering

Let's face it, every generation loitered. Maybe the places changed over the years, but every one of us has had a place where we would hang out either with friends or alone. For me it was in front of the local deli. For my son, it is outside of Starbucks. No matter where it was, it was always "the place to be!"

In the municipality where I work, the place to be for the kids is outside of 7-11. (They don't have a Starbucks here). Today I went for my afternoon caffeine fix and found a teenager sitting by himself in front of the store. He looked quite comfortable. What made this particular kid different was the fact that he was sitting there texting away on his cell phone and the phone was plugged into the outlet on the wall of the store!

We used to choose our spots based on things like girls, drink availability, a Space Invaders arcade game, girls, a high flow of people willing to flip you a quarter to play Space Invaders, and did I mention girls? It seems today that all the kids need is a place with a strong wifi signal and a place to plug in when they have a low battery!

Losing a friend....

About 6 years ago I met someone online. I was at an extremely low point in life and really needed the support of as many people as possible. One of the people I became friends with, was a divorced mother of 4 named Sue. Sue lived in PA with her kids. When we met, she was working part time as a receptionist in a church. Her mobility was hindered by the need for a hip replacement and that grew progressively worse over time. Eventually it kept her pretty much home bound.

Sue was one of those people that are very close to God. Every decision she made was with Him in mind. She did her best to lead a good life despite suffering from her own depression. She never blamed God for any of the misfortune she suffered. I remember many times talking to Sue about her daughters. They were her reason for living each day. She loved them dearly. It pained her to not be able to give them the life they deserved or to be able to attend certain functions with them. But, she never missed a chance to tell them she loved them.Eventually, Sue got her hip replacement. With her refound ability to walk, she was able to go with her daughters. She could once again walk across a soccer field to watch them play. She was able to get a new job. Her life was finally back on track.

While Sue was in the hospital having her hip done she changed a bit and we grew a little more distant. I really am not sure of the reasons behind it all but, it happened. Despite all of that we did manage to reach out from time to time. Just to touch base and catch up a little.One of the times we did that was on birthdays. Sue was one of the few people that would always remember mine and send me some sort of greeting to wish me a happy one. Mine was July 8th. This year she missed. I thought it was odd but, since we didn't talk as much as we used to, I assumed she had just gotten busy or maybe forgot. Yesterday was Sue's birthday. I remember it each year. I went to her Face Book page to leave her greetings and noticed that a couple people had already left her well wishes. She had a very limited amount of friends online but, she did have her daughters. However, there was something different about the messages. There was a sadness to them. I started to read some of the older posts. People were talking about missing her. My heart sank. What happened to my friend? I scanned her list of posts and found one from her daughter. I quickly sent a message. I expressed my concern and prayed for the best. Last night I received the following response:

Hi Tom I remember my mom speaking of you a while back. I don't know how to break this to you as I am in shock myself still and haven't really taken it in yet but my mom passed away in her sleep on June 29th. The cause is still unknown at this point but my best guess is that is that it was heart related.

I am still in shock. I have lost a very dear friend........Sue was not that much older than me. Certainly way too young to be leaving this life.

Sue, I will always remember you and the friendship you have given me. You were always there to listen and were truly an amazing person. While I regret the distance that grew between us, I know that it never made us any less of friends. I happened to find several old emails you had sent me. I will eventually forward them to your daughters so they can see who you were. What dreams you had and what your fears in life were. I know that God saved a special place for you in heaven. I will miss you dearly..........Tom

Driving 101

I just returned home from taking my son for his road test. I woke up this morning more nervous than he was I think. He seemed very confident that he would ace it. I think perhaps too confident. We arrived early and got on the line at the testing site. It really didnt take all that long before it was Kevin's turn. The tester approached and after going over all the paperwork, he had Kevin start the car to pull away from the curb. Sadly Kevin failed to notice a car that was approaching as he pulled out and proceeded to pull out in front of it. The tester grabbed the wheel and turned the car back toward the curb, Instant failure.

So, now Kevin is really upset with himself. And in typical teenager style, blaming every one under the Sun instead of himself. I do feel bad for him and wish I could calm him down. I failed my road test twice before I got my license, but even that is not consoling him. Tonight he can call DMV and schedule another road test. I am pretty sure he won't be making that same mistake next time. Hopefully lesson learned.

Another perfect day

Today was the annual golf outing to raise money for children's charities. This was the 21st annual one and the 12th one that I personally ran. Every year we raise money for charities like Saint Jude's Childrens Hosptial, The Ronald McDonald House, and the Juvenile Diabetes Research, just to name a few. This is the first time I have seen any sort of rain at our event. But, I will not even count it because it was really only a couple brief showers. It actually felt pretty good at that point.

We teed off with about 90 golfers this year. Attendance has been light the past few years. People just dont have the money to participate in today's economy. When the economy was good, we would see numbers in the 240's. It doesn't matter to us how many show up. As long as when it is all over, we are able to make a generous donation. Every little bit helps. We have already scheduled next year's event for July 28th. I think I may post about it here before hand and if anyone would like to make their own donation, I will provide contact information to you.

Sunrise Over the Golf Course about 2 hours before tee off

My life in a nutshell

I just finished mowing the back yard. Considering it is already really hot I probably should have waited but, that is just how I am. I get the urge to do something and I need to do it right then and there. I really don't mind mowing the lawn. I discovered when I was in college that the mindless task gave me a chance to think without distractions. I have done a lot of soul searching during those times over the years. Today was no different. Only today I found myself thinking about who I am and my past. I normally keep a lot about me very private. I think it is time to change that. So please don't mind me. This may get a little long and rather deep.

By now most of you know that I am a married father of 3 kids. Without a doubt my kids are the best part of my entire life. I wish I could say that being a husband was just as rewarding but, frankly it's not. I married a girl I was dating since I was a senior in High School. We used to fight like cats and dogs and I probably should have taken that as a sign of what my future held. Life has been anything but peachy.

Over the last couple years I have been feeling like I belong elsewhere. Not with someone else, but just not here and not with my wife. I have always felt like I belonged in a small town someplace in the South or Mid-West. A place with dirt roads and wide open spaces. Where I could ride into town with an old pick up so I can pick up feed for the chickens. So, I guess the fact that I have chickens now is just practice? There is just something about the  idea of a small town appeals to me. I live on the South Shore of Long Island and do enjoy living so close to the ocean but, it still lacks the small town charm.

Other things people may or may not know about me:

I lost my very best friend when I was a kid. He ran out in front of a truck and was killed. I miss him to this day. I never had closure.

I was sexually abused as a very small child. It has caused me to have to deal with things that have not been easy over the years. Sexual addiction may sound fun but I assure you, it is not. It is an addiction just like smoking or drinking. It can cause you to act out in many ways. It can also create problems in relationships.

I love my job. It is a rewarding experience. I get to help make sure people are safe. I go to sleep each night knowing that I may have actually helped save a life that day. It is an awesome feeling.

I work a lot. Several reasons behind it. First of all, I need the money. Second, I grew up being taught that work before play is the right way in life. And lastly, it became a way of avoiding a stressful home life.

I have a whole online life that I keep apart from my real life. Different friends, different interests, and I am free to be me. Just as I am here in this blog. And while I am really not doing anything that I need to be ashamed of, I keep the two worlds apart. I have found that in my online life I am in total control of my life. In the real world I have to answer to way too many people and I have found them to be extremely judgemental. My online friends fill in a void for me. In life what many people lack is serious communication. Online communication is all you really have. Thanks to all of you and my other online friends, I have been a better father, a better husband, and just an all around better person. I thank you for that.

I dream of having money some day. I don't need to be rich. I just want to be able to pay my bills without having to worry. I would love to be able to give more to charities. I would love to be able to help my kids if the time should ever come that they really need it. I would let them struggle at first just to make sure they learn about hard work and determination. I do not have a lot of fancy things in life. But, I have a roof over my head and my car gets me where I need to be. Anything else is a bonus and I can live without them if I had to.

I do believe in God, but I do not believe that any one religion has got it 100% right. As a result I worship in my own ways despite being catholic.

I believe that there is a life after this one. I also believe people can reach out to us from the other side. I have experienced it. And even I was not sure about it until I met a friend and her mom has reached out to me. The messages she has passed through me have astounded her daughter since there are things that no one would have ever known.

My goal in life is to be remembered. I want to leave my mark in the world and not be forgotten when I am gone.

I am a loyal and dedicated friend. I try to always be there for all of my friends. Sometimes perhaps too much. However, if anyone of you came to me looking for a shoulder to lean on I would be here for you.

I am honest to a fault. I don't believe in lying and I despise being lied to. Especially if it is about who you are. I am always me. I expect those in my life to be themself as well. If you can not be comfortable in who you are, how do you ever expect anyone else to love you for you?

I am not afraid to be naked......I will give you a minute to enjoy that mental image......lol. Now, while you get over that, let me tell you that I am talking emotionally naked. I am not afraid to tell you how I feel. Again, it goes back to just being YOU!

Disclaimer: I have no issues about physical nakedness either. It is just a body. God made it. I dont care if I am seen that way. Nudity is not sexual unless you make it about that. I believe that being able to stand totally naked before someone is the ultimate sign of trust in the other person. You are showing them that you are not afraid to be you and that you trust them not to judge you. As a result, you would never find me walking naked down main street, but if a friend suddenly decided they wanted to see me that way, I would not worry about stripping down provided we had that level of trust and as long as it were not for sexual gratification.

I am a smart ass. I love to crack jokes. I love to twist things people say and toss them back out for a laugh. Never to be cruel. Just to be funny. I have learned to be able to tell if a person can take a joke or not.

I love life. I love just being alive! I can find beauty in pretty much everything. I view the world as a painting. God is the artist and the sun is his brush. Every day He paints a new picture for me to enjoy. Every night the shadows come and wipe the canvass clean. Every morning I wake up excited to see what He has painted for me today!

There you have it. That would be me in a nutshell. There is a lot more I could probably tell you about me but, then if I told it all to you now, I would be left without blog material for the future. So you will just have to check back regularly..........tm

Part of my job involves the courts. I write summonses and most of the time people plea bargain the ticket and it is over. It is not a sure thing though. Tomorrow I have a really big trial. Just to give you an idea of how important this one is, our court is typically the 2nd and 4th Weds of each month. Tomorrow is Thursday and this is the only case on the docket.

Obviously I can not get into the details of the case. However, I can tell you that I have been working on this investigation for over a year. I have countless hours invested in things like surveillance, research, evidence collection, and processing. If I were to stack all  the paper I printed up just to prosecute this case, the stack would be over 2 feet high.

What makes this case unique is the defendant has chosen to represent himself. We have suggested hiring a lawyer many times. Even the judge has told the defendant that it really would be a smart thing to do. Yet the defendant chooses to proceed without one. He has tried every possible thing to get this case dismissed. Just when we thought he was out of things to try, he is now attempting to have the judge removed and he is planning to try and call the prosecutor as a witness. Neither attempt will be successful. The only thing he has not tried is simply approaching me and attempting to work out a settlement. If he had done that in the beginning he would not be looking at potential fines of close to $30,000 or more. It all could have been done and over with a slap on the wrist and $250.

Tomorrow at 11 AM all my work will finally see it's day in court. It should prove to be quite interesting indeed.

Week in the woods

I have been home for a week but, just trying to play catch up after being away for a week. Last week was my annual trip for Summer Camp with my scout troop. Every July we take the boys up to Camp Yawgoog in Rhode Island. 1800 acres of nature and fun.

This year was different in a couple ways. This was the first year that my oldest son was not with us. Now that he is over 18 he is considered an adult leader. While he would have been able to come as an adult, he now has a job and was not able to get the time off. The other reason this year stood out is because on Monday the temp hit 101 degrees. Sounds hot? Well, Tuesday it hit 106 with a "Real Feel" temp of 117! And that was in the shade! It was a bit warm to say the least.Thankfully the army style tents allowed us to keep them wide open so that air would circulate at night.

Now I am sure that many of you may think that spending a week in the woods with 25 boys sounds anything but fun. I have to say that it is the most relaxing week of my year. The boys are so busy with everything there is to do that they do not spend a lot of time in the camp site. Add in the fact that there is no electric, no television, no radio, no video games and no wife, and you can see where this may be very very relaxing. I did have my cell phone with me but, unless you walked up the road and out the gates of the camp, there was no cell phone service. That was alright by me.

The only one that seems to have a problem with me going away for a week is my daughter. Now, before you sit there thinking, "Awww how sweet" let me explain. My birthday is July 8th. (Before you ask or before Dena rats me out, I turned 47 last Thursday). It is always the week I am away. That means I am never home on that day. If I am not home that means Katie has to wait for Birthday cake. Waiting is not something Katie is skilled in. lol

The week always seems to go by so fast. I am already looking forward to next year!

Tyler and I had a great week despite the heat!

Thankfully the sides all rolled up to allow air to pass through the tent.

It got a weee bit warm!

I survived.

Another school year down. All of the crazy running I do is finally over until September. This year was extra crazy since I had a lot to do in preparation of Kevin's graduation. Yesterday was that big day. The ceremony was at 10 AM out on the football field. It was sunny and quite warm. In fact, too warm! But, we made it through it.

From there it was back home for his party. We had a number of relatives there and a group of Kevin's friends came over as well. Plus his friend Julie came down from Rhode Island to see him graduate. They met last Summer while he was working in the Summer Camp. She worked there as well. Since she was one of the very few girls in camp (It's a Boy Scout camp) she was the fantasy of many teen boys that Summer. She and Kevin bonded and have remained close ever since. Much to the envy of the rest of Kevin's scout troop. Even his brother was on Cloud 9 since "OMG! Julie is going to be sleeping in the room next to mine?".....Simmer down Tyler, she is 9 years older than you. I have to say it was wonderful having her here. She is a sweetheart and truly cares about Kevin. My wife and I commented about how we wished he would date a girl like her. She is welcome back anytime.


With everything done, I can pretty much relax this week. The only pressing thing I have to do is pack for a week long camping trip. Tyler and I are headed to Rhode Island next Sunday to spend a week in that Summer Camp. Sadly for him, Julie is not working there this year. LOL Just like Kevin, she got a real job.

It's Official!

Kevin and Julie    

She ran over and gave him a big hug afterward.

I can only guess that when she drinks, she gets beer muscles.

This is a little bit more normal.

It amazes me what they can create these days. 

Yes the picture is edible.

Red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting. This cake weighed a ton!

Busy, busy, busy

The last week or so has been really busy. All leading up to tomorrow. My oldest son, Kevin graduates High School. Since we are having a party there was a ton of things to do in the house and the yard. Normally I can get by with worrying about just the first floor. However, Kevin has a friend here from Rhode Island. He met Julie while he was working in RI last summer. She came down to spend the weekend with us. that meant I also had to take care of the second floor.

Last night was Kevin's Senior Prom. Seeing him in his tux started me thinking back to my own prom. It doesnt seem all that long ago. I have to confess that it is not easy admitting my son has become a man. It goes way too fast.

For those of you that are new to my blog, Kevin is the tall one on the right.

Can you see me blushing now?

Ok, so as you may or may not know, this Saturday is the long awaited dance recital. Several of us have agreed to slip into a tutu and dance swan lake. All for the sake of giving our daughters something to remember later in life. Probably in therapy or in dreams that wake them up screaming in the night. As you can tell, I really don't mind doing it. (If I did, I would not be posting this picture). We have had the best time laughing and joking as we rehearsed for our performance on stage.

So, as promised, here is my recital picture:

I am in the back on the far left. Two of the group are missing from the picture, but you certainly get the idea.

It's all about Bug

Yesterday was a day all about Bug. (My daughter for those of you new to my blog). It started off with her getting her very first job in modeling. In August she will be doing a runway fashion show for Lord & Taylor. She is excited because they give her a cash allowance and let her buy clothes in the store to model. After the show she gets to keep the clothes! She may also end up in the catalog and in the on-line catalog.

From the interview she was then off to her dance school for pictures. She spent the next few hours changing in and out of costumes and posing. She absolutely LOVES being in front of a camera. I had my ballet picture done as well but, you will have to wait to see that one. This is all about Bug.

And finally, it was off to the local school board meeting. It is the final one of the year and they give out the special awards to select student. Bug received an award for being involved in a program called Open Space Stewardship Program. It involves various projects involving wildlife conservation. She was actually chosen to participate in a project being done by several High School seniors.

It was a lot of running around but, we managed to fit it all in. I still don't know how.

Bug gets her award. She is the one in front not holding up her certificate.

Believe it or not, the girl and 2 boys to the right of her are in her grade.

Bug is tall for her age.

Bug in her Acro costume.

This is her tap dance costume.

This is the costume for her Jazz class. 

They are supposed to be models so Bug loves this number!

And finally, this is their ballet costume. 

They are dancing with the dolls so of course the doll had to have the same costumes. 

Bug is on the right. That is her cousin on the left.

Unplug the Toaster!

Sunday evening I was upstairs installing new trim in the bathroom when I heard my wife call. Since it was close to dinnertime I assumed dinner was ready. I did not answer her right away since her hearing sucks and she would not have heard me anyway. Plus I wanted to finish the one piece I was working on. About a minute later my son called out, "Dad? Mom wants you."  So I figured this had nothing to do with dinner. I called down the stairs to see what she wanted. She yelled something about seeing smoke and not knowing where it came from. This is never good since twice in the past she almost burned down the house. So I went downstairs to see what she was talking about. Since she had just turned on the oven I figured perhaps something inside spilled. I was expecting a small amount of smoke. When I walked into the kitchen I saw smoke drifting across the counter and out the open window. There was also a lot of smoke in the air. I quickly realized this was not simply something in the oven.

I looked at the trail of smoke and followed it around and noticed it coming from the toaster in the corner. A toaster that she had decided to pile things on top of. A Styrofoam egg carton, a bag of pretzels, and something in a shopping bag that I could not identify. I immediately yanked the plug out of the wall. That is always the first step in an electrical fire. Cut the power to it. That is when the toaster and the stuff on it burst into flames. Flames were licking at the wall and the cabinets above. There was a towel on the counter so I grabbed  that and saturated it in the sink and tossed it on top of the flames to smother the fire. It cut the flames down enough for me to grab the toaster. I yelled to "Open the front door and get out of my way!" I then carried the toaster out onto the lawn. No sooner had I put it down and the towel started flaming. I was able to put out the fire with the garden hose. While the wall and cabinet now has scorch marks, they never actually caught fire. Thank God!

Now if you are like me, you are assuming someone made toast and she put the stuff on top of a hot toaster. That was not the case. What had happened was she had pushed some things aside on the counter and up against the toaster. This pushed down the lever on it just enough to make it heat up. As a result it ignited the stuff on top. I am just thankful that I was home when it happened. She was panicking and freaking out and didn't know what to do. If I was not home I would be living in a trailer right now while trying to salvage what I could from the ashes of my home!

So let this be your lesson of the day: Never ever put things on or near the toaster. And always unplug the thing when it is not in use!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

About 10 minutes ago I decided to grab a snack. I got up from the couch and headed toward the kitchen. On the rug I spotted what I assumed was a black show off one of my daughters Barbie dolls. Since it was in front of the dog I assumed he had been chewing on it so I bent over and picked it up. It fell out of my fingers and I picked it up again and rolled it into my palm to see if it was worth saving. That is when the legs popped out and it started moving! I may be a man but I despise bugs. I definitely do not like touching them. I grabbed the vaccumm and sucked it right up. Despite washing my hands I can still feel it in my fingers! I am freaked out.

This is what I picked up!

Waiting for the punch

I am having one of those moments where my stomach is in knots. There is no particular reason for it either. Nothing bad has happened today and I am not really expecting anything to either. Yet for some reason I have that sick feeling in my stomach and my blood pressure is way up. And that is even after I took my morning pills to control it. My hands are shaking and I am feeling a bit paranoid. It is the type of feeling you get right before someone punches you in the stomach. You sense that it is coming and you know it is going to hurt.

I have never thought that I suffered from anxiety. I am typically pretty laid back about a lot of things. Life has a way of working itself out so I rarely stress about things. However, looking back I have had this feeling before. Typically it turns out to be nothing. My mind can rationalize it all but, I just can't get the rest of my body to follow. I know a few people that do suffer from anxiety and this is pretty much how they describe it.

If it is something that you have never experienced, you just can not comprehend what it does to you. There is no way to just "snap out of it!" Without some sort of chemical help, you are forced to endure it and wait for it to pass. And it always does pass. I just wish it would pass quicker!

Defending your child -vs- crossing the line

I was sitting on the couch tonight. Finally relaxing after a long week. My wife's phone rang and when she answered it, it was my younger son Tyler. He had just been in a fight. That a boy had walked up and punched him in the head. This is when all rationale leaves and protective instinct takes over. I flew out the door and jumped in the car to find my son.

I found him standing on the side of the road. I could tell he was worked up but, there was no sign of any injuries. I asked him what had happened and he said he and 2 friends were walking down the street and they had exchanged words with another group of kids. One of those kids walked up to Tyler and punched him. I asked him which way the kid went and it took no time at all to find the kid. He was with a group of other kids at this point. I got out of my car and I admit that I was not exactly calm when I asked this kid what his problem was. I was downright pissed that he punched my kid. While I admit I may have been a bit abrupt, I was very careful not to threaten this kid in any way. I must have still scared him though because this kid got right in my face and told me if I touch him, he will own my house, my car, and everything else. What ever happened to respecting adults? This kid had me pissed. However I just looked him straight in the eye and told him I had no intention of laying a finger on him. I told him instead I was going to call the police. He decided that was the time he should be heading home. I demanded his name but of course he refused. So I told him that I can give a complete description of him and that his friends would roll over on him when the cops showed. That didnt phase him and he left.

Now I know my son. He can be a bit of a wise ass at times. I questioned him about what lead up to this fight. Both parties seem to agree that tyler and his group had said something first. Tyler insists that all he said was "Hi people across the street that I don't know!" The other group said that someone from my son's group had called them "faggots." I am sure the truth lies someplace in between. That still does not give this boy the right to punch my son. And both parties agree that it was not my son that took the first swing.

I got tyler back in the car and I got back in myself. I thought about it and decided to skip the police. I had already scared the other kid enough that I am sure he is still waiting for the police to show up. And Tyler said that after the kid punched him, he punched the kid back in the face and the kid walked away. Neither was seriously hurt physically. Let it be a lesson to both. My son needs to learn to not shoot off his mouth and the other boy needs to learn that he can not just punch people over words.....and I need to learn to take a deep breath before reacting next time!

Sometimes it is obvious that God listens

I have fallen on a bit of a difficult economic situation this past week. I will not get into details of blame, but lets just say, my wife's idea of budgeting and lack of disclosure has left us in a situation where the mortgage has almost tripled for the next 3 years. I suppose I should be happy because before I called the bank in a panic, it was over 4 times as much. I told them the keys would be on the counter for them when they came to take the house back. But, after a bit of negotiating I got them down to the triple amount and while it is going to be really tough, it is at least doable.

For the first few days after I learned of this situation, I was a nervous wreck. I couldn't eat or sleep. I had no idea what I was going to do. So, I offered it up to God. I didn't pray to suddenly win the lottery and I didn't ask for money to suddenly grow on trees. I simply asked for the strength and the wisdom to get through this hard time. Well, He heard me.

Not more than 3 hours after offering up my prayer I was driving down the highway and a young girl swerved into the side of my car. My car is damaged but thankfully no one was hurt. Since this was the first day this girl was driving with a license I knew reporting an accident would cost her big. She agreed to pay for the damages. I got an estimate and asked her for only 1/4 of it. I knew the estimate was high. Her dad is going to be sending out the check. When I took my car to the body shop for repairs, the owner of the shop fixed what had to be done and refused to take a dime from me since I had helped him in the past. I still have a small dent but I dont care. I now have several hundred dollars to help me out.

The next day my wife ran to the grocery store for a few things. She spent $18. When she came out of the store, laying on the ground next to her car was a $20 bill. We had dinner for for free that night. 

Last year my wife was forced to close down her business. We owned a gymnastics school. The economic times took a toll and we could no longer operate. (This is part of how we ended up in our mess). We still had all of the equipment. It ended up in my basement. We have slowly been selling it off. There is not a very big market for gymnastics equipment at the moment. Last Friday a woman called to ask about a couple things. Yesterday, she came all the way from NJ with cash in hand and bought $1470 worth of stuff.

While I was not expecting this type of help, I really owe God a big thank you. He has made it a little easier this month and has given me a new sense of peace that everything will be alright. Thank you God!