Showing posts with label words. Show all posts
Showing posts with label words. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

"Stop staring at my A$$!"

"Stop staring at my ass!"

How many times have you heard a woman say that to a guy? For years women have been complaining that guys are pigs and constantly perving them. We have been hammered time and time again hearing "My eyes are up here!" while talking to a woman. I happen to be what they call an "ass man." Basically I appreciate a nice pair of jeans or better yet, a thong on a woman at the beach. But, in being respectful I have learned not to stare. I am sure I am not alone in this. Guys everywhere have been conditioned to be more respectful.

Well, now that we have learned, suddenly women are realizing they are not getting the same attention any more. Or so it seems. Perhaps they miss the whistles or the stares as they walk by. That is the only possible reason I can find for this:


Now if you ask me, this is just not fair. How are we supposed to just ignore this? This really creates some major mental anguish. Not to mention high blood pressure! If you could read our minds you may hear something like this:

"OMG! Nice butt!... Wait, those pants are yellow, not pink.... Oh man is my wife staring at me?... I better stop staring.....Is she wearing a thong? I think I see panty lines.....I know I should stop looking but man!...Think baseball, think baseball....I sure hope her boyfriend doesn't catch me staring.....I wonder if those come in braille? Now THAT would be fun to read then!...."

News flash ladies, if you put things on your butts that is going to draw our attention, we are going to look. And yes we may even stare. Can you blame us? So, if you are one of those women that don't want the extra attention, try wearing baggy pants from now on and please spare us the bumper stickers!....tm

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I can not be the only one....

I am sure you are all used to having to use the "captcha" system in order to post comments on other people's blogs. You know, those funny little words they make you retype? But, am I just weird or does anyone else sit there and try to come up with meanings for the senseless words? What language is that anyway? I am pretty fluent in typonese and yet these words seem to be a code I can't crack.

What exactly does "chipawe" mean? In my house it is something you have to do when the ice cubes are stuck together. "I had to "chipawe" at the block to get the ice I needed." Or how about "Husties?" Are those pasties for very large breasted women?

I sit here each day and enter such words as "wherf" and "Polidefa" and "elitylar" and try to figure out if I am supposed to decipher the codes. Maybe it is a secret message from the KGB? "Tom! You must "Noinga" at the first sign of "Isplidu" and pass along the secret "Oredic" But be sure not to "Seselpal!"

Ok so maybe I just have way too much time on my hands to think about this stuff. But it sure makes my "facdila" hurt! Sorry, I just could not "ressest" posting this. It sure is giving spell check a workout!

What funny "captcha" words have you come across?