My oldest son Kevin has reached one of the major milestones in his life. Today is his 18th birthday. I know he is excited by it. Part of me is too. The other part of me is being a parent and wondering just where all those years have gone. Today has been filled with many moments of daydreaming. Remembering back to so many happy memories.
I just can not help but smile when I think back to things like the day you were born. I was scared to death. Would I be a good dad? Would you grow up healthy and happy? You were not an easy delivery either. At 8 lbs 10 oz and 21" you gave us a scare when you got stuck. Obviously you turned out just fine.
I find myself laughing about some of your crazy statements. Like when your slot car flew off it's track and you threw your hands up and yelled, "Crazy woman drivers!" I have no idea where you got that one. Or the night you were in the bath and called out to us about the water being too cold. We heard you say, "My nipples are getting hard!"
I smile when I think back to how you could not say the word shishkabob ( I am sure I spelled it wrong) and you called them "Squish-a-bobs" Or how amazing it was that we could mix peas into your mashed potatos and spoon feed them to you and yet somehow you would swallow all the potato and spit out the peas. You thought grapes were evil and would put them on the tray of your high-chair and smash them with your fist. Oh and how can I forget the time you scared a baby sitter so bad that we never heard from her again because you shot your imaginary family for being too noisy. You were about 4 at the time. Or how you and I would lay on your bed at bedtime and make up our own story. It was the only way I could get you to tell me what was going on your life. You always would have the characters do the things that you had experienced and I would always smile because you had no idea that you were revealing the secrets we needed to hear. I am still not sure why you chose the name "Ear-butt" for our little alien main character. lol
You still amaze me with your sense of wonder. Even back in kindergarten you wanted to learn languages. Here you are today and you speak English, French, Japanese, some Spanish, and you have taught yourself some limited German and Russian. While other kids were reading Curious George in 5th grade, you were reading "Alexander the Great" and the "Biography of Lucille Ball" When you set your mind to doing things you do everything you possibly can to accomplish them.
And I find myself looking back and getting teary over things like the time you dropped your Oreo cookie and it broke. You looked at me and said, "Fix it daddy" and I knew I couldn't. You cried and cried even though I gave you another one. Or the day Michelle passed away. That dog was your best friend. You picked her out and named her yourself. Again, no matter what I did, I knew I could not fix it. That was the first time I watched you hold in your pain and to this day you do it far too much...and I can't fix it. Or when the other kids would distance you because they just had no idea what you were talking about much of the time. (You even stunned your teachers with your knowledge levels). As a result you became a loner for many years...and I couldn't fix it. I know that you have many more obstacles to overcome in your life...and I can't fix it no matter how badly my heart wants to. Sadly, they are lessons you must experience to learn. Just know I am here for you to lean on.
Today you are out with your friends instead of home with us on your birthday. I know soon you will be home and we will have that cake you wanted, but I also know this is just a part of your growing up. There will come a day when you move out on your own. Please just remember this: No matter where you go in your life, you are forever going to be my son. I love you more than life itself and always will. Happy Birthday Buddy.
