Balance and feathers

Life is an intertwined web of many different things. It is not always easy to keep things balanced. The video below shows you how even the lightest and simplest things in your life are important. Rather than trying to balance your life as a whole, start with yourself and build from there. But, never forget that starting place. Keep yourself balanced. When you find that inner balance, the world around you will be easier to manage. Lose your inner balance and your world can crumble. Watch the video below and imagine yourself as the feather.

Make a plan. Arive alive.

Alzheimers is not pretty

For anyone that has never had a loved one that had Alzheimer's, let me tell you, it is a hard thing to watch. Several years ago my mom was diagnosed with the disease. I do not see her as often as I probably should. Partly do to my schedule and mostly because of my dad. He is another story. Not seeing her everyday, I see the deterioration more than others. Saturday night my dad wanted to go out to dinner with some friends. He asked if someone could take mom while he went out. I volunteered to pick her up and bring her to my house.

I arrived at her house on Saturday and she was sitting on the couch eating crackers with her typical smile. When I told her she was going with me she seemed surprised. She had no clue that was the plan despite being told by my father several times. If she had protested, my daughter and I would have simply stayed there instead. Though my wife may have not been overly thrilled since she was making a nice dinner. (See some of my other blogs about the wife and you will understand). In any event, I got her out the door and into the car.

Dinner was nice. She sat and ate and simply listened as everyone was talking around the table. I am sure she would have loved to particiapte but, she is at the point of having great difficulty finishing sentences. Her thoughts get lost before she gets to vocalize them. It is very frustrating for her. After dinner we put on a movie and even that was hard. She can not follow a plot line anymore. So while she watched, she said nothing and simply stared. I was at a loss. Then a thought occurred to me. She cannot remember current things but she can remember things from years ago. I started to search for clips from the Carol Burnett Show. She always watched it on TV. She got into the clips immediately. She was laughing and remembering when she saw them originally. It turned out to be the highlight of the night. She seemed to be more like her old self. And it was nice because I find myself at a loss of how to talk to her these days.

On the way back to her house, the disease was back. I mentioned my brother to her and she had no clue who I was talking about. He seems to be the one she is forgetting first. She remembers me and she remembers my sister. My brother is in between us in age. Yet she remembers my oldest son. In fact on the way to my house she asked, "Where's Kevin?" In her mind he is still a little boy. He is 22. But that's ok. She remembers him and that says something about their bond.

As I sat and thought about all this last night, I could not help but think that this will be the last Christmas with my mom. She may very well be here physically next year but, I am afraid her mind will be totally gone by then. I want to make this year special for her. I will let you know how that works out.