Another perfect day

Today was the annual golf outing to raise money for children's charities. This was the 21st annual one and the 12th one that I personally ran. Every year we raise money for charities like Saint Jude's Childrens Hosptial, The Ronald McDonald House, and the Juvenile Diabetes Research, just to name a few. This is the first time I have seen any sort of rain at our event. But, I will not even count it because it was really only a couple brief showers. It actually felt pretty good at that point.

We teed off with about 90 golfers this year. Attendance has been light the past few years. People just dont have the money to participate in today's economy. When the economy was good, we would see numbers in the 240's. It doesn't matter to us how many show up. As long as when it is all over, we are able to make a generous donation. Every little bit helps. We have already scheduled next year's event for July 28th. I think I may post about it here before hand and if anyone would like to make their own donation, I will provide contact information to you.

Sunrise Over the Golf Course about 2 hours before tee off

My life in a nutshell

I just finished mowing the back yard. Considering it is already really hot I probably should have waited but, that is just how I am. I get the urge to do something and I need to do it right then and there. I really don't mind mowing the lawn. I discovered when I was in college that the mindless task gave me a chance to think without distractions. I have done a lot of soul searching during those times over the years. Today was no different. Only today I found myself thinking about who I am and my past. I normally keep a lot about me very private. I think it is time to change that. So please don't mind me. This may get a little long and rather deep.

By now most of you know that I am a married father of 3 kids. Without a doubt my kids are the best part of my entire life. I wish I could say that being a husband was just as rewarding but, frankly it's not. I married a girl I was dating since I was a senior in High School. We used to fight like cats and dogs and I probably should have taken that as a sign of what my future held. Life has been anything but peachy.

Over the last couple years I have been feeling like I belong elsewhere. Not with someone else, but just not here and not with my wife. I have always felt like I belonged in a small town someplace in the South or Mid-West. A place with dirt roads and wide open spaces. Where I could ride into town with an old pick up so I can pick up feed for the chickens. So, I guess the fact that I have chickens now is just practice? There is just something about the  idea of a small town appeals to me. I live on the South Shore of Long Island and do enjoy living so close to the ocean but, it still lacks the small town charm.

Other things people may or may not know about me:

I lost my very best friend when I was a kid. He ran out in front of a truck and was killed. I miss him to this day. I never had closure.

I was sexually abused as a very small child. It has caused me to have to deal with things that have not been easy over the years. Sexual addiction may sound fun but I assure you, it is not. It is an addiction just like smoking or drinking. It can cause you to act out in many ways. It can also create problems in relationships.

I love my job. It is a rewarding experience. I get to help make sure people are safe. I go to sleep each night knowing that I may have actually helped save a life that day. It is an awesome feeling.

I work a lot. Several reasons behind it. First of all, I need the money. Second, I grew up being taught that work before play is the right way in life. And lastly, it became a way of avoiding a stressful home life.

I have a whole online life that I keep apart from my real life. Different friends, different interests, and I am free to be me. Just as I am here in this blog. And while I am really not doing anything that I need to be ashamed of, I keep the two worlds apart. I have found that in my online life I am in total control of my life. In the real world I have to answer to way too many people and I have found them to be extremely judgemental. My online friends fill in a void for me. In life what many people lack is serious communication. Online communication is all you really have. Thanks to all of you and my other online friends, I have been a better father, a better husband, and just an all around better person. I thank you for that.

I dream of having money some day. I don't need to be rich. I just want to be able to pay my bills without having to worry. I would love to be able to give more to charities. I would love to be able to help my kids if the time should ever come that they really need it. I would let them struggle at first just to make sure they learn about hard work and determination. I do not have a lot of fancy things in life. But, I have a roof over my head and my car gets me where I need to be. Anything else is a bonus and I can live without them if I had to.

I do believe in God, but I do not believe that any one religion has got it 100% right. As a result I worship in my own ways despite being catholic.

I believe that there is a life after this one. I also believe people can reach out to us from the other side. I have experienced it. And even I was not sure about it until I met a friend and her mom has reached out to me. The messages she has passed through me have astounded her daughter since there are things that no one would have ever known.

My goal in life is to be remembered. I want to leave my mark in the world and not be forgotten when I am gone.

I am a loyal and dedicated friend. I try to always be there for all of my friends. Sometimes perhaps too much. However, if anyone of you came to me looking for a shoulder to lean on I would be here for you.

I am honest to a fault. I don't believe in lying and I despise being lied to. Especially if it is about who you are. I am always me. I expect those in my life to be themself as well. If you can not be comfortable in who you are, how do you ever expect anyone else to love you for you?

I am not afraid to be naked......I will give you a minute to enjoy that mental image......lol. Now, while you get over that, let me tell you that I am talking emotionally naked. I am not afraid to tell you how I feel. Again, it goes back to just being YOU!

Disclaimer: I have no issues about physical nakedness either. It is just a body. God made it. I dont care if I am seen that way. Nudity is not sexual unless you make it about that. I believe that being able to stand totally naked before someone is the ultimate sign of trust in the other person. You are showing them that you are not afraid to be you and that you trust them not to judge you. As a result, you would never find me walking naked down main street, but if a friend suddenly decided they wanted to see me that way, I would not worry about stripping down provided we had that level of trust and as long as it were not for sexual gratification.

I am a smart ass. I love to crack jokes. I love to twist things people say and toss them back out for a laugh. Never to be cruel. Just to be funny. I have learned to be able to tell if a person can take a joke or not.

I love life. I love just being alive! I can find beauty in pretty much everything. I view the world as a painting. God is the artist and the sun is his brush. Every day He paints a new picture for me to enjoy. Every night the shadows come and wipe the canvass clean. Every morning I wake up excited to see what He has painted for me today!

There you have it. That would be me in a nutshell. There is a lot more I could probably tell you about me but, then if I told it all to you now, I would be left without blog material for the future. So you will just have to check back regularly..........tm

Part of my job involves the courts. I write summonses and most of the time people plea bargain the ticket and it is over. It is not a sure thing though. Tomorrow I have a really big trial. Just to give you an idea of how important this one is, our court is typically the 2nd and 4th Weds of each month. Tomorrow is Thursday and this is the only case on the docket.

Obviously I can not get into the details of the case. However, I can tell you that I have been working on this investigation for over a year. I have countless hours invested in things like surveillance, research, evidence collection, and processing. If I were to stack all  the paper I printed up just to prosecute this case, the stack would be over 2 feet high.

What makes this case unique is the defendant has chosen to represent himself. We have suggested hiring a lawyer many times. Even the judge has told the defendant that it really would be a smart thing to do. Yet the defendant chooses to proceed without one. He has tried every possible thing to get this case dismissed. Just when we thought he was out of things to try, he is now attempting to have the judge removed and he is planning to try and call the prosecutor as a witness. Neither attempt will be successful. The only thing he has not tried is simply approaching me and attempting to work out a settlement. If he had done that in the beginning he would not be looking at potential fines of close to $30,000 or more. It all could have been done and over with a slap on the wrist and $250.

Tomorrow at 11 AM all my work will finally see it's day in court. It should prove to be quite interesting indeed.

Week in the woods

I have been home for a week but, just trying to play catch up after being away for a week. Last week was my annual trip for Summer Camp with my scout troop. Every July we take the boys up to Camp Yawgoog in Rhode Island. 1800 acres of nature and fun.

This year was different in a couple ways. This was the first year that my oldest son was not with us. Now that he is over 18 he is considered an adult leader. While he would have been able to come as an adult, he now has a job and was not able to get the time off. The other reason this year stood out is because on Monday the temp hit 101 degrees. Sounds hot? Well, Tuesday it hit 106 with a "Real Feel" temp of 117! And that was in the shade! It was a bit warm to say the least.Thankfully the army style tents allowed us to keep them wide open so that air would circulate at night.

Now I am sure that many of you may think that spending a week in the woods with 25 boys sounds anything but fun. I have to say that it is the most relaxing week of my year. The boys are so busy with everything there is to do that they do not spend a lot of time in the camp site. Add in the fact that there is no electric, no television, no radio, no video games and no wife, and you can see where this may be very very relaxing. I did have my cell phone with me but, unless you walked up the road and out the gates of the camp, there was no cell phone service. That was alright by me.

The only one that seems to have a problem with me going away for a week is my daughter. Now, before you sit there thinking, "Awww how sweet" let me explain. My birthday is July 8th. (Before you ask or before Dena rats me out, I turned 47 last Thursday). It is always the week I am away. That means I am never home on that day. If I am not home that means Katie has to wait for Birthday cake. Waiting is not something Katie is skilled in. lol

The week always seems to go by so fast. I am already looking forward to next year!

Tyler and I had a great week despite the heat!

Thankfully the sides all rolled up to allow air to pass through the tent.

It got a weee bit warm!