I survived.

Another school year down. All of the crazy running I do is finally over until September. This year was extra crazy since I had a lot to do in preparation of Kevin's graduation. Yesterday was that big day. The ceremony was at 10 AM out on the football field. It was sunny and quite warm. In fact, too warm! But, we made it through it.

From there it was back home for his party. We had a number of relatives there and a group of Kevin's friends came over as well. Plus his friend Julie came down from Rhode Island to see him graduate. They met last Summer while he was working in the Summer Camp. She worked there as well. Since she was one of the very few girls in camp (It's a Boy Scout camp) she was the fantasy of many teen boys that Summer. She and Kevin bonded and have remained close ever since. Much to the envy of the rest of Kevin's scout troop. Even his brother was on Cloud 9 since "OMG! Julie is going to be sleeping in the room next to mine?".....Simmer down Tyler, she is 9 years older than you. I have to say it was wonderful having her here. She is a sweetheart and truly cares about Kevin. My wife and I commented about how we wished he would date a girl like her. She is welcome back anytime.


With everything done, I can pretty much relax this week. The only pressing thing I have to do is pack for a week long camping trip. Tyler and I are headed to Rhode Island next Sunday to spend a week in that Summer Camp. Sadly for him, Julie is not working there this year. LOL Just like Kevin, she got a real job.

It's Official!

Kevin and Julie    

She ran over and gave him a big hug afterward.

I can only guess that when she drinks, she gets beer muscles.

This is a little bit more normal.

It amazes me what they can create these days. 

Yes the picture is edible.

Red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting. This cake weighed a ton!

Busy, busy, busy

The last week or so has been really busy. All leading up to tomorrow. My oldest son, Kevin graduates High School. Since we are having a party there was a ton of things to do in the house and the yard. Normally I can get by with worrying about just the first floor. However, Kevin has a friend here from Rhode Island. He met Julie while he was working in RI last summer. She came down to spend the weekend with us. that meant I also had to take care of the second floor.

Last night was Kevin's Senior Prom. Seeing him in his tux started me thinking back to my own prom. It doesnt seem all that long ago. I have to confess that it is not easy admitting my son has become a man. It goes way too fast.

For those of you that are new to my blog, Kevin is the tall one on the right.

Can you see me blushing now?

Ok, so as you may or may not know, this Saturday is the long awaited dance recital. Several of us have agreed to slip into a tutu and dance swan lake. All for the sake of giving our daughters something to remember later in life. Probably in therapy or in dreams that wake them up screaming in the night. As you can tell, I really don't mind doing it. (If I did, I would not be posting this picture). We have had the best time laughing and joking as we rehearsed for our performance on stage.

So, as promised, here is my recital picture:

I am in the back on the far left. Two of the group are missing from the picture, but you certainly get the idea.

It's all about Bug

Yesterday was a day all about Bug. (My daughter for those of you new to my blog). It started off with her getting her very first job in modeling. In August she will be doing a runway fashion show for Lord & Taylor. She is excited because they give her a cash allowance and let her buy clothes in the store to model. After the show she gets to keep the clothes! She may also end up in the catalog and in the on-line catalog.

From the interview she was then off to her dance school for pictures. She spent the next few hours changing in and out of costumes and posing. She absolutely LOVES being in front of a camera. I had my ballet picture done as well but, you will have to wait to see that one. This is all about Bug.

And finally, it was off to the local school board meeting. It is the final one of the year and they give out the special awards to select student. Bug received an award for being involved in a program called Open Space Stewardship Program. It involves various projects involving wildlife conservation. She was actually chosen to participate in a project being done by several High School seniors.

It was a lot of running around but, we managed to fit it all in. I still don't know how.

Bug gets her award. She is the one in front not holding up her certificate.

Believe it or not, the girl and 2 boys to the right of her are in her grade.

Bug is tall for her age.

Bug in her Acro costume.

This is her tap dance costume.

This is the costume for her Jazz class. 

They are supposed to be models so Bug loves this number!

And finally, this is their ballet costume. 

They are dancing with the dolls so of course the doll had to have the same costumes. 

Bug is on the right. That is her cousin on the left.

Unplug the Toaster!

Sunday evening I was upstairs installing new trim in the bathroom when I heard my wife call. Since it was close to dinnertime I assumed dinner was ready. I did not answer her right away since her hearing sucks and she would not have heard me anyway. Plus I wanted to finish the one piece I was working on. About a minute later my son called out, "Dad? Mom wants you."  So I figured this had nothing to do with dinner. I called down the stairs to see what she wanted. She yelled something about seeing smoke and not knowing where it came from. This is never good since twice in the past she almost burned down the house. So I went downstairs to see what she was talking about. Since she had just turned on the oven I figured perhaps something inside spilled. I was expecting a small amount of smoke. When I walked into the kitchen I saw smoke drifting across the counter and out the open window. There was also a lot of smoke in the air. I quickly realized this was not simply something in the oven.

I looked at the trail of smoke and followed it around and noticed it coming from the toaster in the corner. A toaster that she had decided to pile things on top of. A Styrofoam egg carton, a bag of pretzels, and something in a shopping bag that I could not identify. I immediately yanked the plug out of the wall. That is always the first step in an electrical fire. Cut the power to it. That is when the toaster and the stuff on it burst into flames. Flames were licking at the wall and the cabinets above. There was a towel on the counter so I grabbed  that and saturated it in the sink and tossed it on top of the flames to smother the fire. It cut the flames down enough for me to grab the toaster. I yelled to "Open the front door and get out of my way!" I then carried the toaster out onto the lawn. No sooner had I put it down and the towel started flaming. I was able to put out the fire with the garden hose. While the wall and cabinet now has scorch marks, they never actually caught fire. Thank God!

Now if you are like me, you are assuming someone made toast and she put the stuff on top of a hot toaster. That was not the case. What had happened was she had pushed some things aside on the counter and up against the toaster. This pushed down the lever on it just enough to make it heat up. As a result it ignited the stuff on top. I am just thankful that I was home when it happened. She was panicking and freaking out and didn't know what to do. If I was not home I would be living in a trailer right now while trying to salvage what I could from the ashes of my home!

So let this be your lesson of the day: Never ever put things on or near the toaster. And always unplug the thing when it is not in use!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

About 10 minutes ago I decided to grab a snack. I got up from the couch and headed toward the kitchen. On the rug I spotted what I assumed was a black show off one of my daughters Barbie dolls. Since it was in front of the dog I assumed he had been chewing on it so I bent over and picked it up. It fell out of my fingers and I picked it up again and rolled it into my palm to see if it was worth saving. That is when the legs popped out and it started moving! I may be a man but I despise bugs. I definitely do not like touching them. I grabbed the vaccumm and sucked it right up. Despite washing my hands I can still feel it in my fingers! I am freaked out.

This is what I picked up!

Waiting for the punch

I am having one of those moments where my stomach is in knots. There is no particular reason for it either. Nothing bad has happened today and I am not really expecting anything to either. Yet for some reason I have that sick feeling in my stomach and my blood pressure is way up. And that is even after I took my morning pills to control it. My hands are shaking and I am feeling a bit paranoid. It is the type of feeling you get right before someone punches you in the stomach. You sense that it is coming and you know it is going to hurt.

I have never thought that I suffered from anxiety. I am typically pretty laid back about a lot of things. Life has a way of working itself out so I rarely stress about things. However, looking back I have had this feeling before. Typically it turns out to be nothing. My mind can rationalize it all but, I just can't get the rest of my body to follow. I know a few people that do suffer from anxiety and this is pretty much how they describe it.

If it is something that you have never experienced, you just can not comprehend what it does to you. There is no way to just "snap out of it!" Without some sort of chemical help, you are forced to endure it and wait for it to pass. And it always does pass. I just wish it would pass quicker!

Defending your child -vs- crossing the line

I was sitting on the couch tonight. Finally relaxing after a long week. My wife's phone rang and when she answered it, it was my younger son Tyler. He had just been in a fight. That a boy had walked up and punched him in the head. This is when all rationale leaves and protective instinct takes over. I flew out the door and jumped in the car to find my son.

I found him standing on the side of the road. I could tell he was worked up but, there was no sign of any injuries. I asked him what had happened and he said he and 2 friends were walking down the street and they had exchanged words with another group of kids. One of those kids walked up to Tyler and punched him. I asked him which way the kid went and it took no time at all to find the kid. He was with a group of other kids at this point. I got out of my car and I admit that I was not exactly calm when I asked this kid what his problem was. I was downright pissed that he punched my kid. While I admit I may have been a bit abrupt, I was very careful not to threaten this kid in any way. I must have still scared him though because this kid got right in my face and told me if I touch him, he will own my house, my car, and everything else. What ever happened to respecting adults? This kid had me pissed. However I just looked him straight in the eye and told him I had no intention of laying a finger on him. I told him instead I was going to call the police. He decided that was the time he should be heading home. I demanded his name but of course he refused. So I told him that I can give a complete description of him and that his friends would roll over on him when the cops showed. That didnt phase him and he left.

Now I know my son. He can be a bit of a wise ass at times. I questioned him about what lead up to this fight. Both parties seem to agree that tyler and his group had said something first. Tyler insists that all he said was "Hi people across the street that I don't know!" The other group said that someone from my son's group had called them "faggots." I am sure the truth lies someplace in between. That still does not give this boy the right to punch my son. And both parties agree that it was not my son that took the first swing.

I got tyler back in the car and I got back in myself. I thought about it and decided to skip the police. I had already scared the other kid enough that I am sure he is still waiting for the police to show up. And Tyler said that after the kid punched him, he punched the kid back in the face and the kid walked away. Neither was seriously hurt physically. Let it be a lesson to both. My son needs to learn to not shoot off his mouth and the other boy needs to learn that he can not just punch people over words.....and I need to learn to take a deep breath before reacting next time!

Sometimes it is obvious that God listens

I have fallen on a bit of a difficult economic situation this past week. I will not get into details of blame, but lets just say, my wife's idea of budgeting and lack of disclosure has left us in a situation where the mortgage has almost tripled for the next 3 years. I suppose I should be happy because before I called the bank in a panic, it was over 4 times as much. I told them the keys would be on the counter for them when they came to take the house back. But, after a bit of negotiating I got them down to the triple amount and while it is going to be really tough, it is at least doable.

For the first few days after I learned of this situation, I was a nervous wreck. I couldn't eat or sleep. I had no idea what I was going to do. So, I offered it up to God. I didn't pray to suddenly win the lottery and I didn't ask for money to suddenly grow on trees. I simply asked for the strength and the wisdom to get through this hard time. Well, He heard me.

Not more than 3 hours after offering up my prayer I was driving down the highway and a young girl swerved into the side of my car. My car is damaged but thankfully no one was hurt. Since this was the first day this girl was driving with a license I knew reporting an accident would cost her big. She agreed to pay for the damages. I got an estimate and asked her for only 1/4 of it. I knew the estimate was high. Her dad is going to be sending out the check. When I took my car to the body shop for repairs, the owner of the shop fixed what had to be done and refused to take a dime from me since I had helped him in the past. I still have a small dent but I dont care. I now have several hundred dollars to help me out.

The next day my wife ran to the grocery store for a few things. She spent $18. When she came out of the store, laying on the ground next to her car was a $20 bill. We had dinner for for free that night. 

Last year my wife was forced to close down her business. We owned a gymnastics school. The economic times took a toll and we could no longer operate. (This is part of how we ended up in our mess). We still had all of the equipment. It ended up in my basement. We have slowly been selling it off. There is not a very big market for gymnastics equipment at the moment. Last Friday a woman called to ask about a couple things. Yesterday, she came all the way from NJ with cash in hand and bought $1470 worth of stuff.

While I was not expecting this type of help, I really owe God a big thank you. He has made it a little easier this month and has given me a new sense of peace that everything will be alright. Thank you God!

Random Pic of the Day

This guy was big enough to make my wife scream like she was being murdered. 
While to many of you, this is not very big, here on the island we typically do not get them this large.

Roller Coaster Tuesday

My Tuesday was a definite roller coaster ride. I was off from work because my son Tyler was making his Confirmation. It should have been a relaxing day from the start. However after receiving a notice from my mortgage company that more than doubles my payments, I was not starting off in a happy mood. Still I tried hard to not let the stress ruin what is supposed to be a happy day.

Tyler looked awesome all dressed in his suit and tie. Despite the pouring rain, it was a very nice celebration at the church. After the service we took his sponsor and all the grandparents, and of course Tyler, to a local restaurant for an early dinner. It was nice just sitting around talking to everyone over a good meal.

After the meal I headed home to take Kevin to his therapy appointment. It was still raining heavily so rather than letting him drive for practice, I decided to do the driving. That turned out to be a very wise choice. On the way home, a young girl driving in the right lane decided that she needed to be in the left lane. However, I was already there. I was treated to the sight of her car approaching fast in my direction and a nice loud bang as her car bounced off of mine. I pulled over of course to survey the damage. At first it did not look too bad. I had a small dent and my mirror was hanging off. I also had scuff marks on the side of my car where her tire hit. She called her mom because this was her first day on the new insurance and she only got her license a couple days ago. Her mom showed up and has agreed to pay for the damages rather than have this poor kid lose her license and have her insurance go sky high, I agreed to handle it between us.




I took the car to the body shop today. $1800 in damage! It sure didnt seem that bad until they showed me all the stuff I over looked. I know the owner of the body shop and I am sure he is being fair. I also know he will not charge me that much. So, to be fair, I will call the woman later and ask her to cover only 1/3 of the repairs. As long as the mirror is fixed, the scuff marks are removed and the dent can be minimized, I will be nice about it all. If she decides we should do the insurance instead, I guess I will just let them repair every little thing caused in the accident and not worry about the repercussions this new driver will have. I would really hate to see her lose her license already though. We shall see.

Yeah, yeah. I know I am a slacker

Things have been quite busy in life these days and I know I have been neglecting my blog. Please know however that I do still read all of your blogs on a daily basis. Even if I don't always comment. (Shhh...don't tell my bosses since I am typically at work while I read them).

When I tell you that I have so much to do between now and July, I am probably understating it. My son Tyler makes his confirmation next Tuesday. He also graduates from middle school in June and has his 8th grade formal in there some place. I also have to take him on an OA camp out at the beginning of June. (Scouters will know what OA means).

Kevin graduates high school this year and we will be having a party for that. He also has prom. While that is a big deal as it is, his date lives in Rhode Island which means I need to make time to pick her up at the Ferry on the east end of the island. She will probably be staying a day or two with us. Of course that means I need to paint my daughters room. I am also in the middle of wall papering the upstairs bathroom so she doesnt think we live in a cave. Add in all the stuff we are doing to get him into college.

Kaitlyn has her dance recital in June and there are a couple dress rehearsals for that. As some of you know, I also have two dance numbers in that recital. And because the dads and I are just so awesome at dancing in a tutu, we are doing our dances in a recital for another studio earlier the same day.

Once we get through all of the above, Tyler and I leave for a week of camping in Rhode Island. It will seem strange without Kevin this year. He finally found a job. He works in a restaurant as a bus boy. I am going to need that week in the woods to regain my sanity!

Now, on a side note: I am constantly finding funny things that I would love to share with my blogging buddies. Some of them are rather adult in nature so I have refrained from actually posting them here. Especially since I have readers that are younger. So I keep this blog on a family friendly level for the most part. What I have decided to do is create another blog that will have an adult rating and I will post stuff that crosses the line there instead. So check out After Dark

Hope you all have a terrific weekend!!

Random (Perverted) Pic of the Day

So now be honest, would you actually allow your child to wrap their lips around Wolverine's .....ummm....to blow him...up? What the hell was this toy designer thinking?

Schools are scary places these days.

My wife works as a teacher aide. She works in the 9th grade. In this particular district they have a separate building used exclusively for the 9th grade. Since it is located in what is considered a "low income" area it can be considered almost hazardous on some days. Today was one of those days. The following is a text message exchange from this morning:

C: "I was not in the pic. That's the good news"
(I was a bit confused since she had not sent any messages before this)

Me: "I am confused. What pic?"

C: "The pic that drew of himself shooting up the class"

What the heck is wrong when 14 year olds are expressing this kind of violent thoughts?

Thought 4 My Thursday

People will follow you only so far in life. If you become so focused on your destination that you no longer see the ones that helped you get there, don't be surprised when you turn around to look for them and they are no where to be seen. Perhaps they stumbled some where along the way and reached out for a hand from you. Only you never took a minute to see if they were still by your side.

Random Pic of the Day

So now my question for you ladies is this: Thinking about what happens to pasta when you boil it, would you bother to even cook it first?

Random Pic of the Day (I'm scared!)

The picture below is of a recent school project done by my daughter. Click on it to make it larger and read what she wrote under her drawing. I was laughing so hard my sides hurt. She doesn't know what is so funny about it and I think I will wait until she is older before I explain it. LOL

I thank my kids for a uplifting weekend

As most of you know from my last posting, things at home have been extremely stressful. It takes a toll on everyone when there is turmoil in the house. This past weekend was the exception. It was an awesome weekend. Each of the kids found some joy and happiness and were literally giddy with excitement.

It started Saturday morning with Tyler. He is my middle child. He is 14 and a real ladies man. Most of his friends are female and every time I turn around there is another one that he is hanging out with. However, he is very adamant about them being strictly friends. .......till now that is. Apparently he asked out a girl named Kaitlyn. She said yes so, he has his first "official girlfriend" The smile on his face and his practically giggling all day was just so nice to see. Kaitlyn came over that afternoon. I was a little surprised by the dyed jet black hair with purple highlights, the lip ring, and the skulls on her purse, but she seems to be a sweet girl. As long as he is happy.....

Kevin, my oldest son, has bee trying for awhile to find a job. He is now 18 and striving for his independence. Saturday night while I was at work, he called me and sounded all excited. He had been out and looking to hook up with some friends. They didnt get back to him so as he was out wandering, he decided to stop into a local restaurant. When he inquired about a job, they asked him if he could start on the spot. So he spent the next 5 hours bussing tables. Since he spent last summer working in a camp kitchen, he had no trouble here. They told him he was a very hard worker and that they would be calling him to set up a schedule.

And finally, my daughter Kaity. Sunday my wife, Kaity and I went into New York City. My wife had homework to do that involved heading to the Hayden Planetarium. We took the train in and walked from 34th street to 79th street. We walked through Central Park. It was an awesome day weather wise. Kaity wasn't too interested in the museums but, perked right up when we agreed to take her to the American Girl Doll store at 49th & 5th. We told her we were simply going to look around. Seeing her that excited when we were there was the little push I needed and I agreed to buy some clothes for her doll. She is still bouncing off the walls with joy.

The wife and I are talking at least. It sure beats the way it was, but things are still up in the air. None of it mattered this weekend though. I was just happy my kids found something to each rejoice in.

Kaity and I in Bryant Park behind the New York Public Library

Kaity seeing how much she would weigh on the moon.

On the train heading to NYC

Across the street from the Ed Sullivan Theater where David Letterman tapes his show.

I need to grow hair so I can pull it out!

When I first started blogging I vowed to keep it fun and upbeat. Life as of late has sort of kept me from living up to that. It is why I have not been posting as much. I wish I had some funny stroy to share about the kids but I just don't. I am really starting to seriously look at divorce as my only hope of not having a heart attack and dropping dead. Let me give you the shortened version for a change.

This past Saturday what started as a minor dispute took a nasty turn later in the day. After several hours of trying very hard not to get into a full blown argument, I finally said, "I quit!" I was simply referring to being badgered. I decided to take my son out to practice driving and calm down. I returned in time to shower and get ready for work Saturday night. After I was ready I decided to check my email. This is what I had waiting for me from my wife. (Yes she has this nasty habit of writing me nasty emails).

April 3 at 3:11pm
go be with who ever it is your looking for I am totally done living on egg shells. I do not love you anymore and you said again that you were done. I have been cheating on you for months so now you have every reason to blame me and let everyone know it is all my fault.

I sat there in disbelief. Since she has cheated before, it was not a total shock. However, something in me didn't believe her. Either way I am mad. If she is cheating that is wrong. If she is not cheating, I am hurt that she could be so cruel as to say such a thing to get to me. She totally succeeded in pissing me off. She has since said she is not cheating and that she lied. My reaction is simply "WTF?!" I am still pissed and not ready to accept an apology yet. If I felt like typing an entire novel you would see all the other childish crap she is pulling lately that has me and the kids at wits end. Now she is mad at me because I believed her when she said it.

Now, before you all try thinking of all sorts of reasons why she would do this, let me point out that she suffers from depression. She was diagnosed with it and is supposed to be taking meds. She went off of them on her own about 8 months ago. The problem is this is the same stuff she has been pulling for many many years. Basically everything she has been accusing me of, is things she has been doing. Including cheating on me with 3 different men over the years.

Every time she is mad she threatens me with divorce. Again last night she said she is going to pick up the papers at the end of the week. She has done it before but then throws them at me to fill out. I never do. I am not so sure that this time around I wont. I had a long talk with her mom tonight. I asked her for help in trying to get her daughter back on her meds. Even she has realized there is a mental health issue going on here. I am hoping that my wife listens. If not, I will be forced to get out of this marriage. Otherwise "Till death do us part" will be here far too soon for my liking. Sigh......

Happy 18th Kevin

My oldest son Kevin has reached one of the major milestones in his life. Today is his 18th birthday. I know he is excited by it. Part of me is too. The other part of me is being a parent and wondering just where all those years have gone. Today has been filled with many moments of daydreaming. Remembering back to so many happy memories.

I just can not help but smile when I think back to things like the day you were born. I was scared to death. Would I be a good dad? Would you grow up healthy and happy? You were not an easy delivery either. At 8 lbs 10 oz and 21" you gave us a scare when you got stuck. Obviously you turned out just fine.

I find myself laughing about some of your crazy statements. Like when your slot car flew off it's track and you threw your hands up and yelled, "Crazy woman drivers!" I have no idea where you got that one. Or the night you were in the bath and called out to us about the water being too cold. We heard you say, "My nipples are getting hard!"

I smile when I think back to how you could not say the word shishkabob ( I am sure I spelled it wrong) and you called them "Squish-a-bobs" Or how amazing it was that we could mix peas into your mashed potatos and spoon feed them to you and yet somehow you would swallow all the potato and spit out the peas. You thought grapes were evil and would put them on the tray of your high-chair and smash them with your fist. Oh and how can I forget the time you scared a baby sitter so bad that we never heard from her again because you shot your imaginary family for being too noisy. You were about 4 at the time. Or how you and I would lay on your bed at bedtime and make up our own story. It was the only way I could get you to tell me what was going on your life. You always would have the characters do the things that you had experienced and I would always smile because you had no idea that you were revealing the secrets we needed to hear. I am still not sure why you chose the name "Ear-butt" for our little alien main character. lol

You still amaze me with your sense of wonder. Even back in kindergarten you wanted to learn languages. Here you are today and you speak English, French, Japanese, some Spanish, and you have taught yourself some limited German and Russian. While other kids were reading Curious George in 5th grade, you were reading "Alexander the Great" and the "Biography of Lucille Ball" When you set your mind to doing things you do everything you possibly can to accomplish them.

And I find myself looking back and getting teary over things like the time you dropped your Oreo cookie and it broke. You looked at me and said, "Fix it daddy" and I knew I couldn't. You cried and cried even though I gave you another one. Or the day Michelle passed away. That dog was your best friend. You picked her out and named her yourself. Again, no matter what I did, I knew I could not fix it. That was the first time I watched you hold in your pain and to this day you do it far too much...and I can't fix it. Or when the other kids would distance you because they just had no idea what you were talking about much of the time. (You even stunned your teachers with your knowledge levels). As a result you became a loner for many years...and I couldn't fix it. I know that you have many more obstacles to overcome in your life...and I can't fix it no matter how badly my heart wants to. Sadly, they are lessons you must experience to learn. Just know I am here for you to lean on.

Today you are out with your friends instead of home with us on your birthday. I know soon you will be home and we will have that cake you wanted, but I also know this is just a part of your growing up. There will come a day when you move out on your own. Please just remember this: No matter where you go in your life, you are forever going to be my son. I love you more than life itself and always will. Happy Birthday Buddy.