This scene always makes me cry

I am sure at least a few of you remember the show Ally McBeal. I used to love the show. There was just something about the characters that kept me interested. Back in 2001 there was a Christmas episode that had me crying my eyes out. And to this day I can not help the tears whenever I watch it.

This was 2 months after 9-11. The show typically tried to keep up with real life current events. They wanted a way to reach out to the audience and deal with 9-11 and the sadness, but did not want to be so direct in their approach. I can only assume they felt it was just too soon. So, what they did was write a story about a small town outside of Boston where a tragic fire killed a number of firemen. The town council cancelled the holiday parade becuase they felt celebrations would not be appropriate so soon after a tragedy. A local man felt otherwise and took the town to court. He won. The town held it's parade, but in a way that remeberence was the main theme.

On a second story thread in that episode, Josh Groban played a teen who had just lost his mother. He would always sing for her. When she died he stopped singing. No one could convince him otherwise. Eventually he agrees and appears in church on the same night of the parade.

Before you watch this clip, take a moment and think back to 2001 and what you felt in your heart that year. Once you are there, click play on the video below. If the little boy carrying his daddy's fire helmet does not make you cry, I don't know what ever will........

How NOT to be a good parent....

days like this are never easy

There are some days where being a dad is just so hard. My oldest son Kevin had a car accident today. He pulled out on a corner and a woman plowed into the passenger side of his car. Luckily no one was injured. I can not say the say the same for his car. It is T-boned on that side. There is no way he can continue to use the car.

I am sitting here thanking God that my son is fine. At the same time just the stress of now having to deal with insurance companies and having to go back to driving him around is bringing me down a bit. Even those are minor compared to the feeling of sadness I have for Kevin. He is upset that he no longer has a car. He feel awful that he had the accident to begin with. I can not help but feel sad right along with him. Not to mention that the mind now starts to go thinking about "what if". I just want to cry right now.

I know that life will go on. And one day this will just be a memory. I am telling myself everything I would be telling anyone else. Yet I just can not help it. Sigh........

Catching up

It has been a really busy couple months in my life. With the kids back in school and all of those activities that come along with it, and add in a wife that works and is a full time college student, you can imagine that I have very little "me" time.  When I do seem to have a few minutes to sit by the computer, I have a habit of dozing off.

I did get a bit of a reprieve 2 weeks ago when I headed to Charlotte, NC for an annual business meeting. Some of you probably saw my drunk blog from there. Even though it is a work conference, there is plenty of fun time built in.

We arrived in Charlotte on Saturday morning. The Hilton hotel where we stayed was gorgeous. After walking around a little bit it became evident that Charlotte is not what I am accustomed to in a city. It is made up primarily of hotels, office buildings and parking garages. There were some places to eat. What it lacked was any type of retail stores.

Sunday was the first official day of the conference. It kicked off with a golf outing. What a beautiful day that turned out to be. The weather was spectacular. I was actually in shorts and a short sleeve shirt. The course was amazing and we played really well. I am not an avid golfer but I love the game. I always worry a little bit when I play in these events because my skills could use some fine tuning. Luckily I played awesome that day. You could never guess I don't play all that often. Sunday night we headed to a local bar where it was a "meet the candidates" meet and greet. I had a few drinks and ate some great food. I stayed fairly sober. lol

Monday was the opening meeting which was fine, but not the reason I was looking so forward to that day. It also happened to be the night of the welcome event. This year the event was in the NASCAR Hall of Fame. I was in my glory! I got free admission into the Hall and got to do all the interactive stuff there. Add in the open bar and buffet that we had in the lobby area and it was a perfect evening. In all my years of attending these conferences, this was by far my favorite welcoming event. My son thought I was going to be total redneck when I got home. lol

Tuesday was the annual business meeting and elections. The morning was filled with speeches and campaigns. It may look boring on C-Span but, being there you can not help but get caught up in the whole process. We had a nice lunch and then I had the afternoon free. That night was delegate photos and the exhibitors reception. Again with a bar and buffet. this is where the trouble started. Every year, the New York delegates ( I am one of them) hosts a hospitality suite. We do it in conjuction with a few other states. This year it included NC, ND, RI, UT, KY and I think NJ. We had an open bar and some snack foods. I admit to getting totally smashed this year. Thankfully my room was only 8 floors up. I will not get into details here. Let's just say I ended up making the swear "Dear God. Let me live through this and I will never drink again!" I lived. So far I have been pretty much sticking to the promise. I will probably keep that promise......till next years conference in Phoenix AZ!

Overall, I had an awesome time in Charlotte. I brought home a lot of great memories and a bunch of pictures.

 

This was Saturday. You know where I was on Monday!

 

I managed to change the tire in just over 20 seconds. 

Guess I should not get a job with a pit crew!

 

At the trade expo on Monday

 

I had such an awesome time here!

 

That's my favorite!

They have actual cars sitting up on the track that wraps around the ramp to the second floor.

the track display. All full size cars.

 

This was the simulator area. You sit in the car and drive a simulator.

I managed a 1:00.564 lap time at Talladega!

This was actually after more than half the people left.  

And before you ask, the lady in the lower right was dancing to the DJ. lol

The tooth fairy ain't made of gold kiddo!

I got home from my business trip on Thursday evening. Katie was already at dance class. I headed over to the dance studio. When I got there, the first class had just ended. Katie saw me coming and ran and gave me the biggest hugs! She really made my day. She kept telling everyone how it was her "lucky day" since she had lost a tooth and her daddy came back home.

Later that night when Katie went to bed, she placed her tooth under her pillow. I keep the golden dollar coins handy for these special nights. Just before I headed to bed myself, I tip-toed into her room to check on the tooth fairy. I reached under her pillow to look for the tooth. What I found was the tooth and the following note:

It is the memories like this one that make my life worth living and make me always look forward to getting home from my trips!

drunk off my ass

I decided it might be fun to see what my posts look liek when I am frunk....drunbk. I am exremly xdrubnk at the moment. It has been an awesomeluy fun night for me. ANds  yeas I anm feeliung very good at the moment/
The room is spinning. I thought it might be funb to try and type and then qwhen I sober up in to morning, I will lookk at see just how stupid I look to the rest of you.

I plan to write about my week here in NC...just not tonight. I just got bnack to my room after polishing off 2 bottles of 43. The room is spinning  and I know Iwill be sleeping with one foot on the floor. I had planned to stay spober. I guess that plan was not working. SO laugh at me all yu want. I am too drunk to care. lol

Breast Cancer Awareness

If you don't already know, you should. October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. My wife is a survivor of this horrible disease. I know a number of others who have also suffered the scare. A local tattoo parlor is doing their part to help spread the word by offering free pink ribbon tattoos. My wife decided she wanted to get one. Her mom got one yesterday. Her aunt and 2 cousins got them earlier this week. I think it is a good cause. In fact to help show my support I got a tattoo as well.

I have thought about getting a tattoo many times over the years. This is not what I had in mind originally but, what better design to start off with? Now that I know what it feels like, I will go back soon and get something artistic done. As for the rest of you, please please make sure to check your breasts regularly! And get those mammograms done. SAVE THE TA-TAS!

3rd time is the charm

This morning my son made his 3rd attempt at his road test. I don't know who was more nervous. Him or me. The first time he took the test he cut off a car as he was about to pull away from the curb. End of test before he even started. He had to wait a month to take it again. The second time he was shaking before he even got behind the wheel. Add in the fact that it was windy and raining due to a hurricane off the shore, he failed for being too cautious.

I had no idea what to expect today. We are getting very heavy rains and it is windy. All thanks to a coastal storm and the remnants of Tropical Storm Nicole. After dropping off my daughter, Kevin and I headed to the site of the test. We got there a little early. There were only a couple cars ahead of us. The rain would start and stop. Kevin's leg was bouncing and he was talking fast. There were two women testers today. The one that failed him last time and another one that he recognized as someone that came and talked at his Driver's Ed course. The order they were going in meant he was going to get the one he had last time. I saw him stress even more. However, the car ahead of us was a woman being tested. After her test her son got in the car for his test. This meant Kevin's tester would be the woman that came to his class. He got happy at that point. He told me he was comfortable since it was like he "already knew her."  He got behind the wheel, I stepped out with my big umbrella and I turned my back and prayed. Within a few minutes he pulled back up. He stepped out of the car and said, "I failed" Of course he was just way to excited to be able to not smile. He passed! He didn't get a single point off. He aced it.

So despite the weather, today is an awesome day! We got home from the test, I told him that his grandmother would want to know how he did. He reached for his phone so I told him, "Here, use this instead." and I tossed him my keys. So, off he went to drive for the very first time by himself. I am sure you can imagine his big smile. And here I sit smiling right along with him!

NASCAR Heaven

I am a NASCAR fan. My kids pick on me for it, but I don't care. I love sitting and watching the races. It is even better when Jimmie Johnson wins the race. Seeing that Lowe's 48 car cross that finish line in front just makes my day. Last year, NASCAR opened a Hall of Fame in Charlotte NC. I knew this would be a place I just have to see one day. That day is happening October 25th! Woohoo!

Every year I travel to wherever the ICC Annual Conference is being held. This year it just happens to be in Charlotte, NC. As soon as I found out, I said I was going to hit the Hall of Fame. Well, it gets even better. Each year the ICC holds a big opening event. They find a major venue and book it exclusively for the ICC attendees. We have access to the entire place. There is a buffet and an open bar. When I was in Detroit it was held at the Henry Ford Museum. In Florida it was in Epcot. In Baltimore it was in Camden Yard and Oriole's Stadium. This year it will be in, yes you guessed it, the NASCAR Hall of Fame. So, not only do I get to see the museum, but it will be free, there will be food and drinks, and I will be in my glory! I am so excited that I feel like a kid just before Christmas.

One of the things that we do at our conference is trade collector pins. Chapters from all over the world bring pins and all week long I find people that are looking to trade pins. I have a decent sized collection. My Association is no different. We have had 3 designs over the past 10 years. All rather plain and all designed by the company making the pins. Since we have been using the same pin each year, it was getting harder to find people that didn't already have one. This year I decided I was going to take over the design. I wanted something unique. Something that combined the Chapter and this years International Conference. This is the design I came up with:

Knowing what people look for in a pin when trading, I have no doubt these will be hot this year. I didn't tell anyone I was going to design it until after I had the design complete. When it was done I presented my design to the Chapter President and VP. In typical fashion the President tried to tweek it into something he could then claim as his own. (He is notorious for this). I stuck to my guns and in the end we went with my design. 

I can not wait to get to Charlotte!

We are all young once

As a kid you never think about your parents being kids at some point in their life. And grandparents? They were born old...right? I was recently given the following photographs of my grandmother. In each picture she is the little girl in the shot. The pictures are from the sometime around 1920. In the first picture my grandmother is sitting in the window by the dog. The woman holding the baby is my great-grandmother. The baby is some great-uncle. I think my mom said his name was Rex.

I finally found what I was looking for

When I was younger, around 10 or 11, I lost my best friend. He ran out into the street and was hit by a truck and killed. He was a year younger than me. Hardest thing I ever went through. As a result, I built a shell around myself and had a hard time allowing people to get close to me. I still do. It comes from a fear that I will lose them one day too. When Bobby died, it was felt that I should be sheltered from the whole thing. I didn't get to go to the funeral and his death was never mentioned around me or to me. As a result, I was never able to get closure. I never got to say good bye. I am 47 now and it still affects me.

For years now I have wanted to visit Bobby's grave. To let go of the pain. To heal. To say good bye.... The problem was that I had no idea where he was buried. My parents could not remember. Since Bobby's family had moved to NJ before he died, and I had no idea where they were. Bobby's dad had passed and his mom had remarried. His sisters were grown and married. So, it was not like I could find anyone. When someone we all knew passed away several years ago, my mom mentioned having the phone number to contact Bobby's mom. (Gee thanks for not telling me this all these years.) I made the call to let her know about the passing. Unfortunately, I got an answering machine. I was already nervous about calling but, toss in the fact that I hate talking on the phone, my message was one of the dumbest sounding things ever. I tried to be composed but, I failed. I mentioned the death and at the end of the message I left my phone number and asked her to call me and told her why. I never heard from her. Feeling like a fool, I was afraid to call back.

Well, thanks to Facebook, I happened across Bobby's sister last week. I sent a friend request and a quick note. We exchanged a few messages back and forth. Catching up on all that has happened in the 30+ years since we last spoke to each other. I didn't know how to bring up the subject of where her brother is laid to rest. I finally decided to just lay it all out there. It took a couple days to hear back. I was beginning to think I had said the wrong thing. Last night I finally heard back from her. She not only gave me the information, but she has offered to meet me there. I am undecided on whether or not to take her up on that offer. I will be going to the cemetery but, I am just not sure if I will meet her there or not. My wife had said she would go with me, but I told her it was something I just need to do alone. For once she actually understands.

In the next month or so I will be making that trip to NJ. I will find my friend. And hopefully I will find that peace that has eluded me all these years.........tm

9/11 God Bless the USA

I need a shower now.

Part of my job involves investigative work. This means at times I get to interview people to ferret out information. It usually means I have to steer them into admitting things that they would rather you didn't discover. Today was one of those days.

Sadly, as bad as the economy is, men still seem to pay for sex. As a result, prostitution remains popular. The popular way of going about this is to open "massage" parlors. They are usually opened in office buildings and the advertising is done online. I have raided a few in the past. Today we received a complaint of a new one in the neighborhood. time to go to work.

Because of the nature of the investigation, we work in pairs. Going to a place like this alone is never a smart idea. It is too easy to be accused of inappropriate things. My partner and I work well together. He is an older guy and has that easy going nature. And since you are familiar with the "Good cop, Bad cop" routine, you can figure out which one I am. I just have this way of getting information from people. I let them know that I want answers and that I am serious. Don't waste my time with beating around the bush. I am also not afraid to tell anyone what the consequences will be if I have to find out later that they lied. I have to admit, I enjoy this part of my job.

Today we went into this place for preliminary information. We got a complaint that there is a car load of oriental girls being dropped off there at night and that a lot of men come and go all night long. It is rather obvious that this is not a normal business operation. We knocked on the door and were greeted by a fairly attractive asian woman in her early 50s. As soon as I showed her my badge her smile faded. Despite that, she invited us inside. Ok so maybe not offered up front but simply complied with my asking her if we could come inside. In the room we walked into there was a nice divider and behind it sat two younger asian women on a mattress. A closed circuit TV was set up so they could see who was approaching the front door. There were two back rooms with massage tables set up. I can not get into any details about the information we collected since it is an active investigation. However, during the investigation as I was reading the one woman's ID out so my partner could read it, she placed her head on my shoulder and nuzzled up against me. What the hell was going through her mind? That has got to be one of the dumbest things anyone has ever done during an investigation of mine. I just shrugged her head off of me and gave her a look that backed her up. I left there feeling like I need a shower......eeewwwww.

Smoke yourself to death. Just leave me out of it!

I don't smoke. Never really have. I am the only one in my family that never has. Same goes for my wife and her family. That being said, it is obvious that we just don't care for it. The smell of it makes me ill. I get a headache and it irritates my throat.

It is lunchtime right now and I am sitting down by the docks as I normally do. There is a breeze off the water and it is a beautiful sunny day. Fresh air! Or at least it was. A car pulled up next to me and the driver got out and decided to light up. My lovely salty breeze was now nothing but that putrid smell of second hand smoke.

Don't get me wrong. You have the right to give yourself cancer. I won't stop you. However, where is my right to not have to get it with you? Where is the consideration of stepping to a place where your nasty habit won't infringe on the rights of others? I don't get all preachy to smokers about not smoking. All I ask in return is that you do not drag the rest of us to an early grave with you.

On a related note, the earth is not your @#$%! ashtray! Stop flicking your butts all over it! That thing in your car is an ashtray. Not a change holder moron. Grrrrrr!

One of the worst jobs as a parent

No parent likes seeing their kids hurt or sad or distressed in any way. Sadly though, those days come along some times. Today is one of those days.

My son Tyler has one of the biggest hearts I know. Especially when it comes to animals. Today I was forced to tell him that his dog passed away. Cookie, our pug, was only 3 years old. He was Tyler's dog. We got Cookie after a lot of begging and pleading from every angle around me. I reluctantly agreed. Once we had him though, Cookie became a dog I absolutely loved. He was fun, He could be goofy at times and you could not help but laugh.

Being a pug, breathing was an issue constantly. Pugs have pushed in faces. The heat seemed to make it worse. I honestly think that perhaps Cookie had a medical condition that caused him to succumb to the heat. He passed away this afternoon when my wife was out. My wife is feeling extremely guilty, Though it was not really her fault. It is just one of thos freak things that happens.

So today I had I had to be the grown up and bury one of my son's best friends. All the while, trying not to fall apart myself. I can honestly say that this is one time that parenting sucks. I was going to include a picture of cookie but, I just cant bring myself to open one right now..........

It's that time of year again

It has been 25 years since the last major hurricane on Long Island. We have had several near misses over the years since Hurricane Gloria hit. We are well over due. Normally an impending storm gives me a major adrenaline rush. It is too early to tell if that will happen the next time. However, there is a storm out in the Atlantic right now that has my stomach in knots. I do not have a good feeling about this one and it is literally scaring me.

So, remember this name: Earl

Always have a Plan B

Every summer we take the kids to PA for a couple days. The first day we spend in an amusement park called Knoebels. The second day we spend in a water park called Camel Beach. Knoebels is in Elysburg, PA. It is approx. 4½ hours from my house. We normally drive there early in the morning. After spending a day in the park we spend a night in Mifflinville and then back toward eastern PA to camel Beach in Tannersville. It is a trip we look forward to. This year, because of financial issues, we were faced with not being able to go at all. I did some budget crunching and was able to arrange it so we could do one of the 2 parks only. this past Monday was the day of the trip

The plan was we would do the water park since it was the closer of the two. Since it is only about 3 hours away, I planned on going and coming home the same day. It has been a very hot and dry summer here on the island. In fact we have had no real rain in about 2 months. So the water park seemed to make sense. As this last weekend approached, the weather men began talking about rain. Not just a little bit either. With school approaching and other commitments we had not alternatives on dates. I was off on Monday and Tuesday. I figured if we woke up Monday and the weather was lousy we could just do Tuesday instead. Sunday the rain moved in. By Sunday night it was pouring. We woke up Monday to it still raining. And Tuesday;s forecast not looking any better. Now what do we do? While the water park doesnt close simply for rain, there was thunderstorms predicted. On top of that, instead of the temps in the upper 80s we had been having, it was in the low 60's. Now what do we do?

On to Plan B. Looking at the weather map it seemed to be less rain in Elysburg. I figured it was further west so we may luck out. So we hopped in the car and headed to Knoebels. I am glad we did. We had an awesome time. It did rain lightly later in the day but we were prepared for it so it was not an issue. My daughter was a little bummed about not making the water park but she understood. The kids got to ride the rides all day. We did our round of laser tag as well. I was wiped out. Luckily I called the motel and was able to get a room. And since the owner knows we come every year, she gave us a nice discount. I am glad we stayed and just drove home Tuesday instead.

So even though we had to go to our back up plan, it all worked out just fine. We all had fun and that was the whole point all along!

We take a picture of the kids in this same spot every year. The first time we did, Kevin (far right) was in a stroller!

Katie and her cousin.

We always stop here for breakfast on the way to PA. This trip we also stopped on the way home.

Katie and I waiting to ride the roller coaster.

Modern Day Loitering

Let's face it, every generation loitered. Maybe the places changed over the years, but every one of us has had a place where we would hang out either with friends or alone. For me it was in front of the local deli. For my son, it is outside of Starbucks. No matter where it was, it was always "the place to be!"

In the municipality where I work, the place to be for the kids is outside of 7-11. (They don't have a Starbucks here). Today I went for my afternoon caffeine fix and found a teenager sitting by himself in front of the store. He looked quite comfortable. What made this particular kid different was the fact that he was sitting there texting away on his cell phone and the phone was plugged into the outlet on the wall of the store!

We used to choose our spots based on things like girls, drink availability, a Space Invaders arcade game, girls, a high flow of people willing to flip you a quarter to play Space Invaders, and did I mention girls? It seems today that all the kids need is a place with a strong wifi signal and a place to plug in when they have a low battery!

Losing a friend....

About 6 years ago I met someone online. I was at an extremely low point in life and really needed the support of as many people as possible. One of the people I became friends with, was a divorced mother of 4 named Sue. Sue lived in PA with her kids. When we met, she was working part time as a receptionist in a church. Her mobility was hindered by the need for a hip replacement and that grew progressively worse over time. Eventually it kept her pretty much home bound.

Sue was one of those people that are very close to God. Every decision she made was with Him in mind. She did her best to lead a good life despite suffering from her own depression. She never blamed God for any of the misfortune she suffered. I remember many times talking to Sue about her daughters. They were her reason for living each day. She loved them dearly. It pained her to not be able to give them the life they deserved or to be able to attend certain functions with them. But, she never missed a chance to tell them she loved them.Eventually, Sue got her hip replacement. With her refound ability to walk, she was able to go with her daughters. She could once again walk across a soccer field to watch them play. She was able to get a new job. Her life was finally back on track.

While Sue was in the hospital having her hip done she changed a bit and we grew a little more distant. I really am not sure of the reasons behind it all but, it happened. Despite all of that we did manage to reach out from time to time. Just to touch base and catch up a little.One of the times we did that was on birthdays. Sue was one of the few people that would always remember mine and send me some sort of greeting to wish me a happy one. Mine was July 8th. This year she missed. I thought it was odd but, since we didn't talk as much as we used to, I assumed she had just gotten busy or maybe forgot. Yesterday was Sue's birthday. I remember it each year. I went to her Face Book page to leave her greetings and noticed that a couple people had already left her well wishes. She had a very limited amount of friends online but, she did have her daughters. However, there was something different about the messages. There was a sadness to them. I started to read some of the older posts. People were talking about missing her. My heart sank. What happened to my friend? I scanned her list of posts and found one from her daughter. I quickly sent a message. I expressed my concern and prayed for the best. Last night I received the following response:

Hi Tom I remember my mom speaking of you a while back. I don't know how to break this to you as I am in shock myself still and haven't really taken it in yet but my mom passed away in her sleep on June 29th. The cause is still unknown at this point but my best guess is that is that it was heart related.

I am still in shock. I have lost a very dear friend........Sue was not that much older than me. Certainly way too young to be leaving this life.

Sue, I will always remember you and the friendship you have given me. You were always there to listen and were truly an amazing person. While I regret the distance that grew between us, I know that it never made us any less of friends. I happened to find several old emails you had sent me. I will eventually forward them to your daughters so they can see who you were. What dreams you had and what your fears in life were. I know that God saved a special place for you in heaven. I will miss you dearly..........Tom

Driving 101

I just returned home from taking my son for his road test. I woke up this morning more nervous than he was I think. He seemed very confident that he would ace it. I think perhaps too confident. We arrived early and got on the line at the testing site. It really didnt take all that long before it was Kevin's turn. The tester approached and after going over all the paperwork, he had Kevin start the car to pull away from the curb. Sadly Kevin failed to notice a car that was approaching as he pulled out and proceeded to pull out in front of it. The tester grabbed the wheel and turned the car back toward the curb, Instant failure.

So, now Kevin is really upset with himself. And in typical teenager style, blaming every one under the Sun instead of himself. I do feel bad for him and wish I could calm him down. I failed my road test twice before I got my license, but even that is not consoling him. Tonight he can call DMV and schedule another road test. I am pretty sure he won't be making that same mistake next time. Hopefully lesson learned.